Eugene

Date With Destiny
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2001-12-16 11:01:30 (UTC)

Mastermind Dickens Post from Brian

Hi gang (page one of post)

One of the exercises and outcomes of a UPW event is
a "Dickens" exercise.

The metaphors of this exercise comes from the story
a "Christmas Carol," where Scrudge is shown an unpleasant
vision of his life based on this current behavior path.

In the story, Scrudge wakes up at Christmas with a fresh
new start at life and decides to be a good guy.

Similarly, at UPW, Tony takes use on a guided trip and
where we envision a pro and con vision based on our current
path, a path controlled by disempowering believes...

These visions vary in intensity and personal situation
specifics.

Instead of going down a path of empowering believes, with a
vision of health and energy, friendship and connection,
abundance and gratitude, emotional happiness and love...one
is guided down a vision where ones limiting believes create
a negative vision.

These limiting believes (not good enough, it will never
happen, that is not who I am..)set the stage for a live of
actions leading up towards potential poor health, lack of
connection or friends, that of being alone and/or treating
people harshly, frustration and anger, and basically
hitting bottom...

In a nut shell, the negative vision is not a place you or I
would like to be.

So, I was thinking about my dickens, what I saw as my
hitting bottom.

I saw myself in some crappy apartment, in a poor dangerous
area, living far away from my family (who I never talk to
anymore out of part shame and part angry falling out.

The place I lived in was a mess and smelled.

I had started smoking again (it has been 11 years since I
quit) and noticed I took up drinking (which I never do,
even a little, people think me weird for that)

I see myself incredibly overweight, having no energy, and
in dangerously poor health.

There was no one in my life, and I had some lowly
depressing job, that I hate, where people treat me harshly
and what is more...I am in debt over my head because all my
money goes to small food and indulgences to give me a short
state change...

That was pretty much my dicken, a imaginary vision of
hitting bottom...

The exercises provides a feeling of "sure don't want this
life to happen no matter what."

I did this exercise a while ago and felt great momentum,
momentum for the better vision, the one where I am health,
have friends, a great job, travel, connection to family,
etc... but this vision did not make it past the "Living
Room Challenge" that I referred to in early posts.

What was interesting today, when I thought about my
dickens, is that besides for perhaps a little creative role
play for effect, my dickens models was kind of a comfort
zone of not urgent and not important activities.

This is where my standards were low, yet with in comfort
and reach.

This sort of adjusted, more realistic dicken, is how I live
now. Poor health (fat), no courage to go for things (stuck
in the living room) more shy then outgoing, broke financial
(nothing new) and creatively scattered then passionately
driven.

What sprung all of this dicken thoughts into focus was a
two very frustrating events today.

The first was that, after a long and crappy job search, in
a depressing economy, and after finally finding a (lowly
yet better then none) job, I was laid off after one day!!!!
ARRRGGGHHHH!!!!!

What was interesting is that this event actually expanded
my dickens vision from having a crappy job to "being fire
from and could not even find a crappy job"

In other words, I am feeling like that crappy dickens
vision is actually happening and worse then I even
pictured...

The second event was a letter... My shining light in all of
this up and down was school, specifically financial aid so
I can afford it. I applied and have been waiting months to
hear.

Well, there was a major mixed up. In the section where you
say, have you been convicted of a drug offense in the last
ten years (yes or no) the answer is no, some how the form
had "Yes" which disqualifies me completely!!!!

After the dust settles, it looks like I will not get my aid
in time for next semester, so it may look like no school...

Am kind of in passionate (venting mode)

Was curious if anyone has had like visions and found they
were taking a disempowring path


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