lioness259

Motivation Proclamation
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2001-12-16 06:43:32 (UTC)

Flyers Game Is On

The Flyers game is on now and it always makes me think
about my ex. Who isn't really my ex any more cause we have
agreed to date and see each other again. He makes me
happy, he is one of my best friends and I love talking to
him. But for some reason I have a problem with him coming
to visit me at school. It's just like I have a secret life
with him. He mentioned that today and I tried to deny it,
but it's true. I just want to keep the two seperate.
School is my place to study to hang with friends to get
drunk and act like an idiot. But when he is here it
disrupts my whole cycle. I get knocked off track and don't
know what to do. It's like when he is here I don't study
and I skip practice and my whole little world that I have
here is different and I am just not used to it. Not that
it's a bad thing, but for some reason or other I just don't
like it. I like visiting him, where we can have privacy
and we can live in our own little world together. It's
great, it feels like we have our own real thing going on.
He goes to work and I stay behind and wait for him to
return. It's nice and I love it. I wish it could be like
that all the time, but it can't because I have to finish
school first. And as of now I have one and a half years
left before I recieve my bachelor's and who knows if there
is more school after that, but by that time I will not be
living in these god awful dorms, it's like everyone knows
my business and I don't like that. There are somethings I
like to keep to myself, but if I am truly happy, why don't
I want to tell anyone about us dating and why do I want to
keep it secret? The answer will come in time I am sure.
But anywho it's 1:45 am and time to turn in. Nite!


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