lustful nightmares
2001-12-16 02:52:56 (UTC)

maybe a couple bottles of pills or deep gash to the wrist??


i want to end it all......everything.....this loneliness,
this unhappiness, this misery.....i'm going to go
completely insane before i can do anything to relieve this
stress......i have lost everything because i cannot explain
myself or speak up for meself.....everything is going down
hill.......i feel like i'm going to puke......and i'm
trembling.......for the first time i think i'm really more
than half heartedly am serious this time, usually i'm in
just a horrible mood and at that short moment feel like it,
i hate this...whenever i need to get out what i'm feeling i
can never put it down in words.
last week at work i almost freaked out and started throwing
things...but i managed to contain myself...that hasn't
happened before...and just last night i just about had a
nervous break down....but i didn't want to be seen crying
in front of my co-workers, it wasn't the work that was a
problem, or atleast i don't think it was, it was strange,
an overwhelming feeling just came over me, i wanted to go
home but i wouldn't have been able to explain why i want to
go home....i think i'm finally starting to crack....