My Messed Up World
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2001-12-16 00:04:54 (UTC)

The Whole Story to Date

Let me bring u up to date. The story begins in Wemberg,
Germany 1984. My mother at the age of 15 was here with her
family bcuz her father was stationed here. In the lobby of
the hotel they were staying at there was a young man
walking out of the bathroom. As a joke my mother says to
her younger brother, "Oh my, I think he is cute." As a
result of saying this her brother walks up to the young man
and tells him of the comment made by my mother. The young
man laughs and walks up to my mother to start a
conversation. They hit it off nicely and start to date.
Eventually, like most teenagers, the have a little more fun
than is usually acceptable. And also a little more
irresponsible. My mother becomes pregnant at 15. The
young man is of course scared. Who wouldn't be? But he
wasn't as scared of me than he was of his parents. When he
told his parents, they thought something might be mentally
wrong with him. My mothers father told the young man not
to worry and that things would be ok. He also said that the
young man wouldn't have to support me. But the young man's
parents thought otherwise. As a result the young man
started selling drugs at school and got caught. He was then
shipped to California with his family. My mother was left
to raise me with the support of her family and friends.
I'm not angry at the young man for leaving. It wasn't his
fault. My mother managed everything ok. I just wish I
could have met him. Even a picture would be nice. But oh
well. In 1985 i was born. My mother was 16.
2 years later
My mothers family is now stationed in America. Her family
(including little me) is invited to go to dinner with one
of my mothers fathers colleauges. At this dinner my mother
meet a man who is the son of her fathers colleauge. They
hit it off nicely and start to date. He asks her to marry
him only weeks after dating. She tell him to wait one year
and ask again. He does so and then they get married.

I can't remember a time when he wasn't my father. My
mother has 2 more kids. One in 1991, and one in 1994. He
treated me like his son to every extent. Even the
punishments. But i deserved all of those.

In the summer of 1996, more tragedy struck my life. My
father, the father i've know as far back as i can remember,
died of brain cancer. My whole life was changed. My
mother had to work again. The bills were racked up pretty
high. But my mother stayed strong. And we did ok. She
dated a little. She still had fun. We still had good
Christmas' and birthdays. Life was going ok.

She gets hooked up by my fathers sister-in-law with this
guy. My first impression of him was, "What a fucking
dork." But as he spent more and more time at the house we
talked occasionally. And then he'd buy me ciggarettes, and
and smoke weed with me. Then he moved in. And my mother
and him took over my room bcuz it was the biggest. I was
hesitant at this at first buy i figured oh well it will be
ok. We continued to to smoke weed all the time and we
bonded well. Right about the time that i got my first high
school relationship, my mothers boyfriend blows up at me.
In front of my lil brothers, he asks me what happed to the
screen to the sink in the bathroom. He blurts out, "You
konw, the screen for your bowl!" That was not good. I
decided to leave home for a little while. A self-appointed
vacation from my family if u will. I come back and he
apologizes to me. Every thing is cool until the day after
my birthday. I got all smacked and came home late. He
yelled at me so I leave again. I spent 6 days on the road
with friends getting baked and sight-seeing. It was fun.
I came home and he didn't talk to me.

I was still with the same girl through all of this. In
fact i dated her for a year and 6 months. During our
relationship, i meet a dude in my 2nd period class of 9th
grade. He was new to the school. He came from
California. I was in class, sleeping as usual. When i hear
the name of my ex-girlfriend from middle school. I
immediately perked up from my slumber and told the guy that
i used to date her. We got to the talking and i asked him
where he lived. To our luck, he lived very close to me. I
told him to come to my house that day after school. After
school that day i was at home and one just as the new guy
was coming up to my house one of my other friends came to
the door aswell. I was on the back porch and heard the 2
of them talking. I yelled for them to come around back.
We all sat around smoking ciggarettes and talking. Me and
my friend played chicken with a ciggarette on our
forearms. I have a scar commerating the day i first hung
out with this new friend of mine. This friend would soon
come to be the closest person to me in my life. We are
like brothers. I love him like no other. I would die for
him because we r so close. I feel we are almost
psychically linked. We have the same ideas and agree on all
sorts of things.

My girlfriend and I were very good about condoms for a good
long time. But curiosty did kill the cat. We didn't think
anything of the occasional non pull out. She ended up
getting pregant that in Sept. of 2000. I gave her the
choice of whether or not to keep this child. I would have
no problem having a son or not. Life would be hard, but i
would still survive and love my child. My mother made it,
i don't see y i couldn't. But my girlfriend decided on
getting an abortion. She got one and we did ok. Her
parents thought a little less of me. But in no time, things
were back to normal.

My best friend got in trouble in school for drugs about a
year after we were hangin out. He was home schooled for a
while but his mother had had enough of him i guess. She
sent him back to Cali to live with his father. This was
devastating to us both. We would be separated for an
indefinite amount of time. But we keep in contact. We are
still as close if not closer than ever.

After he left, the girl i was dating left me for one of my
other good friends. In one week i lost my girlfriend, and
the respect of one of my good friends. But it was good
that it happened. I didn't see that at first but i
realized it soon. I found out that she cheated on me 6
months b4 the end of our relationship. Right after she got
her abortion. Oh well. I was glad to see her go after i
heard that. She moved away to Illinios that summer, and i
couldn't think of a better way for me to get over her than
to not have to see her again.

I moved about 4 miles down the road that summer aswell.
This meant new house, new school. I was too happy about
the new school thing. I didn't go to the first 2 days. i
went the 3rd and 4th and then didn't go for another 3
weeks. The attenance officer at the school informed me
that if i skipped another full day of school, that i would
be sent to the courts. So i figured, ok, i'll just go to
at least one class a day. This worked ok for a little
while, but then i got out of school suspensions for not
going to the rest of the classes. These suspensions were
just like skipping a full day of school in the eyes of the
courts. So i had to figure a way to get out of school as
soon as possible. I enrolled in the GED program.

I now plan on saving money for a long time and moving to
California to be with my best friend again. I rack up fone
bills like crazy calling him. He is always there for me
and I for him. When we are together once again life for me
will be complete once again. There's this void in my life
without him. He is my counterpart. If i were a cd player
he would be my batteries. He keeps me happy and focuses on
living. If it weren't for him, i would probably have dun
myself in or stopped caring about my life.

You r now at the present moment and time. Believe me some
new drama occurs at least one a week. Ur in for a wild ride.

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