Marco Jacksonovic

Crazy What You Could've Had
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2001-12-15 23:43:34 (UTC)

From Despair To Where (Manics, thank you)

Today is a big day. It is a build up to tomorrow, when I go
home and see the friends I spent the best years of my life
(16,17,18) with. The friend I have known for the longest,
who lives down my street will have to wait until later for
my presence, we get on, but he can annoy me. He's 15. Says
it all.

I'm gonna miss Norwich. I already miss sitting round the
Bowl (Uni café bar) and chatting, even though I wouldn't do
that for 2 more days at least. I already miss the people I
know quite well and won't see for a month. There's a tear
in my eye as I write.

My friends are good people. We get on well with each other
and those like us, but not with our exact opposites, though
to be fair we cover quite a lot of ground.

I have a lump in my throat as I write. The change of
lifestyle. The living back home, the being back with my
mum. I don't know. It seems to get harder.

I need Everybody Hurts by R.E.M. 5 minutes 20 seconds of
sympathetic melancholia. By someone who hurts for someone
who hurts.

I have a cold. Not a bad one, but it irritates. I have a
nose bleed problem. Not a bad one, but it irritates.

I feel like Huey out of Fun Lovin' Criminals. It was
mentioned today that he's obviously, at some point, taken a
step back, looked at himself and thought 'I am so lucky. I
have a good life, I like being me'. I have too. I love
being me. It has its ups and downs. I love the
rollercoaster. Sometimes I think it gets too much.

I just remember something I said to my friend Vincent a few
years ago. When it gets tough take joy in the small things,
for there are many, and work up. If you can smile through
then the world with stay with you.

That's how I am right now, struggling, but smiling. I'm
enjoying being me even though its not as fun as it could be.

Thanks for caring....

WILT? You already know. Everybody Hurts - R.E.M.


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