im dead 2 this world

leave me the fuk alone
2001-12-15 20:07:40 (UTC)


... i dont know wat 2 do nemore my best frienfd in the
whoel world that maters so much 2 me has someting relaly
wrong with her and she says i shudl be the first 2 know and
everyting and that she shuld tel me in perosn and cuz of
this she needed 2 put the band on hold i really dont know
wat 2 do im tryin 2 be there for her but it feels like
there is distance between teh 2 of us and i wish there
wasnt like i wrote her an email about it and im wiatkng for
a response cuz she hasnt read it but it just bothers me so
much that like i duno she is hesitating 2 tel me liek we
have both seen each other cry liek i cam eover her house
and juss cried and we have been thru so much 2gether its
not even funny but like the thing is is that she said she
needed 2 put it into words and that she had a poem 2 show
me and then she never gave it to me in shcool she said it
wa sin her locker then i didnt get 2 go 2 her locker i
really just want her 2 open up about thiscuz it wont help
her if she keeps it in i know this from past many past
experences and even 2 this day i dont let nething out and
its all bottled up ad i dont wnat her ending up liek me and
i also want to tel her aboiut peter that i love him and
everything but its hard 2 wen she says she hates love....
... i used to be so anti-love and i know that peter is the
1 its hard 2 xplain im not the 1 to ever fall in love NEVER
but i did but he is so far away it kills me and its liek
urg i juss want to run away to him and never leave but we
have plans for 3 years form now but its so hard wen u know
u love someone and u CANT be with ne1 else like i tried it
a couple times and it wa sliek i juss cant its impossoble
liek there r im not gonan say alot of guys that liek me but
there r some and its like get out of my face i dont wnat u
teh 1 i want is peter no u u asshoel lol like i dunoo it
bothers me sometimes that he is going 2 move 2 cali soon
and he is going 2 find sum1 else or even know he culd find
sum1 else and i wudl be crushed and in 3 years i know my
feelings wudlnt fade i kno its seems lkike im an idiot for
syaing this but its tru i kno it in my heart and its tru
and real unliek nething else in my life he is teh 1 thing
taht is stable in my life he is consistent he is the 1