Gary

black eyed angels swam with me
2001-12-15 10:00:07 (UTC)

mmm, spam and eggs.

thats what i'm eating now, by the way. fried spam and
scrambled eggs. some say its digusting. but most of those
people also eat cottage cheese with honey on top. belive
me, the feeling is mutual. I also like vienna sausages...

enough about me, more about my day.

i got up around 3am to get my mother to work. a seven mile
commute sure gets long when you have to drive 25 mph. and
thats with the four wheel drive.

so i'm back at home at around 4:30 am, and i head for the
sack. i can't sleep. so i get up and check my mail, and
hondaprelude.com's message board. started some music video
downloads (some chemical brothers, and rockin the suburbs
by ben folds) and i crawl back in. My alarm gets me up at
7:30 am, and i start my day, with a grand total of three
and a half hours sleep.

Today's a snow day for the kids, so they sleep until noon.
I'm out with my friend applying at a temp agency. damn,
the job market had dried up since i left for moscow. later
me, richard and stan go bowling. were so much better
bowlers when theres nobody else bugging us, no loud music,
no "cosmic" bowling. just a hardwood floor, 10 pins, and a
ball.

after getting rid of stan, me and rich went back to my
place and watched some tv. here comes john, our friend
from logan. we all pile into the wagon, and head to the
mall. we were always curious what it felt like being a
mall rat, so we just walked around for an hour or so, while
i was waiting for emily to return my call. god i love cell
phones. you can annoy a whole A&W full of customers with
three cell phones, and constant ring testing...

anyway, we met emily, amber, and camille, and decided to
make a triple date out of it. god, the wagon can hold like
12 people comfortablly. so we looked for a movie. we were
going to see Texas Rangers. But first we killed some time
at A&W. Camille, Amber's friend has been quiet all night,
and walked off. as she was walking away, she said he was
going to jump off a bridge. as she was walking away, i
said, "Make sure to go head first. hurts less that way",
accompanied my wry smile. she smiled back, and sat down.
of course i was probably just imagining her smiling back at
me. my poor subconscious. thinks it needs to protect me
from the real world. so it imbelishes on my memories. Or
maybe i should pity my conscious mind, who has to live with
the false truth.

oh well. me and camille had a few words after that, but
nothing major. anyway, back to emily. My mother called,
wondering where i was, when emily yelled to her, through
the phone. she heard the voice and recognized it. i put
her on, and they talked for a bit. (they knew eachother
through church). after that, they decided to ditch us,
because the movie was too late, and they were too tired.
so thats when i whipped it out on her. a copy of The
Unauthorized Biography of Reinhold Messener, that is. she
seemed suprised, but happy. I told her it was nothing like
the last one i gave her(moby-play), but its just as good.
She smiled, and gave me a hug, and seemed pretty happy.
god, i hope i can wake her up.

Her mind is like an Elf. Like the ones in the Lord of the
Rings. So beautiful, yet whenever i get close, the run
behind a tree and lose me. Emily is not too bad though.
Amber is the worst. Except that she never lets anyone get
close. She maintains a very tight inner circle, with only
maybe two or three people that really know her, if that.
Maybe its a defense mechanism. Whenever i'm around her, i
can literally feel a her blocking me. Whereas i can read
most my friends, tell when they are lying and such, hiding
their true feelings. But all i feel around amber is a cold
steel wall. She may seem pleasant on the outside, but
dealing with here sudden mood changes (which feels like
they are all lies) gives me an upset stomach. I mean, i
think amber is one of the most beautiful (body/facewise)
that i've ever seen. And men that don't know her are
always hanging off of her. But everything she does is an
act. Even when she flirts with you. when you start to
return the getsure, she laughs at you, and says she was
only kidding. Maybe she is hiding something. maybe she
was abused. maybe she was neglected. who knows. i wish
she would let me in.

Us guys went to watch the movie. I recogized alot of
actors, but i couldn't recall their names. It was an ok
movie.

Goodnight children. remember to eat your spam!




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