Barbara Novak

Down With Love
2001-12-15 03:05:03 (UTC)

just when you thought it was gone...

bkgrd: something happened to a friend of mine where he
wanted to get rid of me for some reason. and he practically
did, or tried to. we're in the same coterie of people, so
it's kinda hard not to talk to him. anyway, so he has this
g/f. maybe i posed some sort of threat, because she seemed
to think so. anyway, so i have no idea what's been going on
with him. i hate being in the dark. to make it worse, i
heard that there's something i supposedly did that could
sever whatever threads were left dangling between us. i
don't know if i know people anymore. they all seem so fake.
i don't know how i came to be here. i used to have a
relatively simple life. people used to be so complicated it
was easy. now they're so cryptic, it's haunting. i'm locked
in a cage with no end, and every corner i can't seem to
find. there's no darkness, only a humming light that burns
my eyes. nothing seems real. nothing is tenable. i'm numb
as an icicle, and feel just as cold. there is no warmth,
just a glow out of reach.




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