stars in the sky emo in the heart
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2001-12-15 00:34:13 (UTC)


i cheated on him. i cant believe myself.

i saw kyle at this party i went to with Kari and
i got a lil drunk. there was this garage band there
called 'crying heartbeats and tears wiped away'. they were
ok. sounded too much like pu. kinda made me sick to my
stomach considering im not good at holding down liqour. so
when i saw kyle i thought i saw jay so i just went up and
kissed him. without knowing anything i was doing at all. so
we locked outselves in this bathroom and started going at
it. luckily we didnt have sex. but i woke up the next
morning about half naked laying next to him. i freaked out
real bad. so i ran out of the house. i got home and checked
my mail, and there was this not from jayleb. he asked me if
i went to a party with kari and i responded with 'yes we
need to talk'. and that was it. jay called me today and
said we could talk about what happened over lunch. in the
meantime kyle e-mailed me telling me he liked me and wanted
to hook up some time. i responded with 'jayleb' and nothing
else. ive never felt more emo than i do now. i feel so
horrible for what i did. but then again, jayleb and i
werent all that serious. so im not all that worried. but
hes soooo very emotional than i am and im afraid ill kill
him if i tell him. i just dont know what to do. but then
again, i like kyle. hes just, so not my type but is. its so
weird. i just wish i could like him and be with him, but i
dont. i love jay. i have no clue what to do.