FINALS ARE OVER! i am so happy that i do not have to go
back for awhile. I finals for Feminist Issues yesterday and
that went VERY well. i was actually cut off in the middle
of my pesentaion because i "taking too much" time so i
really didn't even get to cover most of what i wanted to. I
was doing a analysis of the PSYCHO and DRESSED TO KILL,
specifically dealing with the roles of the feminine. These
films suggest so much that they are really "masterpieces".
I had my final interview with Lauren today. That went so
well. We both talked about how we kinda of upset each other
in the semester. i felt really bad that she had gotten an e-
mail from carol in which I was taking badly of the lucheon,
but we talked. I told her that every good relationships has
bumps and i think that is a sign that we really have a good
working relationship, because we can get past those bumps
and move forward. we agreed that i should take some time
off from teaching. i need to put into physicality the
information i gathered from the program. we also discussed
the reason's which i was not picked as a trainer for 2002.
lauren essential said that she wanted to bring a new
perspective to the program---and that made me feel so good
that she is essentially having ALL new people as trainers.
"you can't change anything but yourself" she said that also
and i am starting to see the truth in that statement. also,
i disagree with it, because i do think that people are
changable, but fuck it's a lot of work. work that sometimes
you really don't want to be putting into it.
i am starting to worry about the shows next semester. i am
having some doubts about working with certain people---that
i just have issues with putting my work into their hands.
also, trust in general. "trust" is such a continual issue
with me and i always wonder why i can never trust people.
and the minute i start to they fuck me over......
adam hasn't called. maybe he got the point.