so last night i had a dream..
so last night i had a dream that i visited an old dear
friend. it was strange because i've not seen him since the
end of the summer. he sold off everything he once loved and
moved to the 45th floor of a highrise downtown.
i've always wanted to live in chicago. i know i am meant to
live out here...i cant exactly manage my young stallion
from atop the sears tower. next new years i plan to take my
best friend to one of those fancy parties at a big
hotel...not that shes never been to one...its just that
this past year we ended up spending just aboute every major
holiday with people we don't particularly care for.
thats proly my fault too. i put myself in the dog house
when i...well, that was a long time ago and i think i did
it just to try and get closer to her. i've always been
jealous of her other life, the one she has away from me.
this past week has been really weird. the accident left me
without a car and somewhat dependant on her. i wonder how
long it'll last though. i have learned time and again that
no matter what people intend/say, things never go 'the
right way'. i wish i could let myself rest, give into what
i want to happen. 'they' say that if you think things out
the way you want them to happen that they will but i dunno.
things are so complicated.