Suzie Q's Derranged Views.
2001-12-14 02:43:30 (UTC)

..::the sharp hint of new tears::..

Today was Dave's birthday. He is the greatest person I know
and I love him with all my heart, I couldn't imagine a life
without him... so why did I spend all night upset because
of Colin. Colin, of all people. I don't even like him
anymore. I feel nothing at all when I look at him, but his
words have stuck with me. I guess it's really not HIM that
I missed for so long, but I missed his words, his thoughts,
and just having someone there for me that cared. I went
through my old emails today, and there was this one from
him, from back when we first really started talking. It was
full of empty, shallow promises and words that STILL mean
so much to me. WHY DO THEY MATTER! They really shouldn't.
He doesn't mean anything to me anymore, but he does...in a
sence... It's twisted I know. But isn't everything a little
twisted? I also read this old email from Dave that made me
even more upset. I want to make him happy. I want to give
him all that he has given me, I want to give him the world.
So why can't I? My depression has been kinda lifting for a
while but these past two days have brought it back down a
lot. Dave is all that keeps me going. :'o] he's the world
to me. Check back in a few days for more exciting stuff.
Lessa and Brookey are coming up tomorrow so don't expect
anything for tomorrow and day after. Peace, Love, Empathy,

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