Glass Is Just Too Small

Theres something in my ice
2001-12-13 19:18:16 (UTC)


Well, noting new really to report. Same shit. My knee is
feeling a little better. I hate being home so much. I
talked to Micah the other night on the computer, i feel
like i lost the game against his X, but i let him go. Hes
fucking her again and that really has nothing to do with
me. But i still feel like i lost. I dont want him to have
anything to do with her. I kinda want him, but thats only
cuz shes got him. He is a loser though. He is DRAMA.
Dumbass high school drama, and im fuckn 21, i dont need
that shit. Hes like "what did u say to her? why is she mad
at me?". Dumb shit. I dont want to be in that fucked up
world anymore. I have a boyfriend whom im gonna marry, and
i am very happy with him. Micah doesnt even hold a candle
to clayton. But why in the fuck do i always think of
micah, why do i want to be with him so bad? Hes a fuckn
idiot. I mean, hes brilliant, but hes also nuts. He is
always depressed or some shit. Hes a "musician" and when
something is bad, its like the end of the fucking world
with him. I couldnt take that. We talked the other night
(well, like a month ago or something) and he wanted me to
come over, but it had to be NOW! He fucking called me at 4
in the morning. And he said he didnt want to fuck, i mean,
why else would you call some at 4 in the am and ask them to
drive an hour when you know they have to be up at 8? He
does shit like that. The more i think about shit like
that, the better i feel. I know i didnt lose, i won. It
shouldnt be a game, but to me, it kinda feels like it is.
I do love him, and i always will. I just dont want him
with that fuckn cuntrag Meagan. I guess shes better for
him. She likes to play stupid ass Sony for hours, and she
likes to smoke (which i cant fuckn stand), and lame ass
shit like that. You know what i want? I just want sex
with him. Thats fuckn it. The sex was great. Didnt do me
any good though. Oh well, i need to put all that shit
behind me. Its over, and i am with clayton. Someone who
loves me for me and who always will. Micah needs to die in
my heart. I dont even want the memories.