My Life: The Best Soap Opera Ever Writte
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Revelations, Conclusions, & Consequences 12/13/01 1:26am
I really don't know where to start. But I guess the
beginning will be a good place.
Well there is the blk guy named Sho that sent me a msg and
he wanted to chat with me. That's fine. HE's not my type
but friends are always nice to have.
I am gonna make this as short as possible....Sho knows
steve and juan. He has had some issues with them both.
Apparently Juan tried to scam Sho for sho's ex
husband...his ex wanted Juan to kinda attempt to fuck
around with Sho online...then steve went around telling
potentials for Sho that sho was a player and he was gonna
dog on them and use them for sex. Sho hates them both. He
even told me that there was a website created just to bash
him and that steve was a member of this little group that
wanted to slander Sho. Sho also told me that he once was
asked if he knew Steve cause apparently steve was beating
up on some guy up in NY. I just don't see steve doing such
a thing. I confronted Steve..not really...just asked him if
he knew this guy that was mentioned..and he said yeah. That
they met a long time ago and he spent 4 days in NY with
him..and then the guy went to visit steve in Canada. BUt
steve said they didn't work out cause the guy was
too "girly". SO i don't know if all that is true or not
about him beating this guy..but he does know the guy. Also
i told him that i was going out with SHo on sunday..and he
went off. he had no nice things to say about sho. said that
sho used to try and talk to juan and that sho fucked with
half of ATL and a bunch of other things. Basically he was
saying that Sho was some kind of whore. Either which
way...i rarely trust anyone anymore. The conversation
escalted and i finally got all i had to say out to him. I
told him how hurt i was and that i felt lied to and that he
lead me on. He asked me if i was trying to hurt him...and i
said no...and he said i made him feel like shit...and i
told him..just as he told me how he felt and what he was
gonna do with juan hurt me just like me telling him how he
made me feel hurt him. He said i was bashing him and he was
getting frustrated. By this time i started to get some
sharp pains going down my left arm. I was hurting so much
inside...but i told him this. I told him that i needed to
be apart from him. He told me that I needed to think about
it..and i told him i have thought about barely anything
else. I told him that i wanted to stop talking. I told him
that i loved him and would always ...but i had to let him
go cause i gave him too much and put my life into his hands
and now i have nothing left. I am empty and that's my
fault. He told me he loves me. and that he will always be
there if and when i decided to talk to him again. I told
him i don't know when i will be ready but it had to happen
cause my health was being effected. so..i took him off my
buddy lists and that's that. It's over...for now. And
honestly i have no idea if i will ever talk to him again.
Our friendship can never be what it once was. NEver. Well i
was still in pain around 4am or so yesterday..so i got
worried and people started telling me that it sounded like
i had a slight heart attack..and plus i started to bleed
out of my rectum. That has happened before but it happened
like 3 times in a row. so around 9pm i went to the
emergency room and I just got home about 45 min ago.
Everything was perfect. NOthing was wrong with my heart or
my blood...but the doctor wanted me to follow up with my
regular doctor incase i had a hemrroid. I have finally
realized that i need to take better care of my self
physically and emotionally. I gotta live. I didn't want to
let steve go..but i had to. I should come first. Luckily i
have some of the bestest friends in the world. And i love
all of them dearly.
OH...catch this shit. I mentioned Sho to Ted and ted tells
me that he and sho messed around once. I was like...HELL
NO. This world is too fucking small.
Well i am still in pain and they gave me something for it.
They claimed that i was suppose to get sleepy..but i am
wide awake and about to go watch DOGMA.
THings will get better.
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