Ad 0:
2001-12-13 04:58:13 (UTC)

surrounded by distances

This will be big.
This will be something you may not have imagined.
This is not something you may comment on. This is not for
you. Don’t flatter yourself.
This is for *you*.
This is anger that has been building inside of me. Anger
that tastes so bitter. Anger I hate to taste and every time
I taste it I cringe. Do you hear that? You make me cringe.
You make me taste anger and you weren’t supposed to do
that. You were the one who would walk through anger with me…
support me…tell me that I have to feel this to enjoy the
moments where I’m not angry.
How fucking ironic that it would end up being you I’m so
angry with.
I think about friendship a lot. I think about you being my
friend a lot. So, why is it so easy for you to just
disappear? Friends aren’t supposed to just disappear. There
are terms friendships end on. Hugs, parting words, fights…
or they don’t end. So what the hell was this “I’ll call.
I’ll email. I’ll let you know.” and then you don’t. Not one
fucking word…written, spoken or typed.
Am I so easy to discard?
Are you so willing to let people go?
Are you more than willing to push people away?
You are.
That is wrong. So very, very wrong. The people that you
pull in close to you…you pull in close to you for part of
what seems to be your sick and twisted reality…they have
feelings. They thought it was for real. Your sick joke…we
bought in to your sick joke.
Sick fucking joke.
You know what I mean.

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