2001-12-13 04:57:19 (UTC)

focus on every detail

there are good and bad waves of emotion. i sense a very bad
wave of emotion building and it's going to sweep me away
out to the depths of the ocean. sink...swim...tread... at a
very young age we are forced into many sink or swim
situations. you would think that as a child it would be
very easy to sink, but every child has this strength. this
incredible strength that comes from such innocence.
no...simplicity. it's easier for a child to simplify than
it is for an adult. this is why it's so easy for an adult
to sink. things get overcomplicated, we begin to expect too
much of ourselves....we tire. or at least i get tired of
the redundancy. day in, day out...it's all on repeat.
something rewinds during the night and i'm forced to play
it out again the next day.
yes...that wave is coming. i like to think that
i'm "childish" enough that i won't sink. and i know i
won't. with my overactive imagination i will construct a
raft out of fragments of nearly forgotten memories and
return to shore - fresh and eager to start anew.

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