RoseEssense

BabyRoseBud
2001-12-13 03:51:24 (UTC)

What a shame

Well, I went to see Justin tonight. I wasn't planning on
it, because I wanted to stay home, but I ended up going.
See what happened is, I was sitting here thinking about how
I hadn't talked to him in a while, so I thought I'd give
him a call. Well, I called him, and he told me that Jarod
was going down there to fix his toilet, and how I should go
with Jarod to see him. I told him I just wanted to stay
home, and he said that was fine. Then he asked me to take
his phone charger to Jarod's so that he could take it to
him. So I go over there, and Jarod asked me if I wanted to
go with him. I didn't really want to, but I really wanted
to see him, so I went. Well, we get there, and he doesn't
even really acknowledge that I'm there. Pretty much right
after I walked in, him and Jarod went to Wal-Mart to buy a
mop, which is all good. So I sat with Ricki and watched the
end of Puppet Master 5. Then about a half an hour later,
they show up, and Jarod's ready to leave. So I got to give
Justin a hug and a kiss, then I had to walk out the door.
And for some strange reason, it kind of felt like he was
pushing me out. Maybe it was just my imagination.
You know, I really do miss him. I didn't think it was gonna
be so hard. It's gotten a lot easier. I don't cry at night
anymore, and my bed warms up faster then before. I don't
catch myself reaching across the bed to hold him anymore.
But I still think about him all the time. Sometimes I wait
for 6 o'clock to roll around, so that I can call, and there
would be a chance that he'd pick up the phone. But I don't
call anymore. He's either not there, or asleep by the time
I get through. But, he said he'd call me tomorrow, and
we'll see if he does.
I called Latimer's House today. That's where I'm probably
gonna be going to counceling at. They told me to go in
tomorrow and get an application and all that happy shit.
So, I'll see if Amanda wants to go and do that. Hope so,
because I really want to get back into work.
Well, I'm gonna go put my clothes away, and finish cleaning
my room. I'll be online later, and I'll probably update
again. Well, maybe.
Love,
Shelby




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