piglm

down in my eyes
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2001-12-12 06:13:43 (UTC)

Disconnected

No one is perfect. And I could never come close.
All that one wants, is what one cannot have. But my
parents can't understand this. And all of what they
want me to be, is exactly what I'm not. For me to mold,
and become the perfect, in their minds. They're soo
self-centered, they cut off all understanding, of
anything besides their own opinion. They're only
helping me build the wall of distance between us.
But I'm in over my head. And my tears are beneath me..

My mom was lecturing me again, 'bout never obeying
her,never doing as she says. He happened to call me
last nite, right after my mom's lecture, so I
happiily spoke to him. When she got on my case again,
I just ignored her. But then a few moments later, after
threatening me with her ways, but without warning, I was
disconnected. She had pulled the phone plug out of the
wall. Then, she pulled my plug too. She started
yelling at me, then proceeded to tell me for the
1,000th time, how hopeless and pathetic I am. I've
grown so numb to her words, I don't even hear what she
says anymore. I yelled back, for not allowing me to say
'bye' before pulling the plug, atleast. But she didn't
give a shit. When I handed my phone to her to put back
on the receiver, she grabbed and threw my whole phone
set on the floor. She started kicking it, then picked
it back up, snapped the intennas in half, and dumped it
in the trash can.
When I left my room and slammed the door, she slammed it
back open, and yelled at me to come back so we could
talk. I refused, and was ready to pick up another phone
and call out, but she kept yelling, and started cryen,
sayen we needed to talk. She managed to corner me back
into my room, and yelled at me for the next two hours...


I'm at the point where i just can't look at her. I just
don't want to be next her. I'd have nothing to say,
except to leave me alone. Get away
Dirty stupid, old bastard.


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