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2001-12-12 01:16:58 (UTC)

Nearly an all-nighter

Ah, finals. I would be going crazy if it weren't for the
friends I've found here. As of late, Ian and Chuck have
been a big help. Chuck's always around when I need to talk.
Although, he worries too much. He's a great guy, and I'm
so lucky to have him as a friend. I, unfortunately, don't
know Ian as well. Our brief interactions have been
pleasant. Personally, I think he's a mastermind (that isn't
necessarily a bad thing). But, I'm impressed that he's made
an attempt at getting to know who I am, rather than writing
me off as something I'm not.

Apparently, some of my acquaintances from SigEp have proven
to be more of a danger to my reputation than what their
"friendship" is worth. Why things get started, I know not.
Things are shaping up to be the equivalent of stereotypes
from high school; although, the level is higher and the
faces are different.

This morning I spent 5 hours in the caf talking to Ian.
He's trying to get a grip on the situation between MJP and
myself. But, I'm sure he knows much more than he's letting
on. I feel comfortable talking to Ian, for reasons of which
I'm rather unsure. He's been pretty straight-forward with
me and Chuck cofides in him. But, we've been trying to
reconcile the mess MJP and I made of any relationship. The
salvage efforts haven't proved effective, yet. I'm hoping
that by next semester things will improve. It's hard to
open yourself up to someone after keeping yourself isolated
for so long, and have your heart torn apart in front of your
eyes. There was something there, I know it. He has to be
aware of it. Maybe he was afraid of what may have come out
of persuing a relationship. So, a botched "friendship" is
all that is left.

A melancholy,

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