squeebs

Squeeb's world
2001-12-12 00:27:01 (UTC)

Forever?

K, yes I know I'm paranoid and insecure but I just had a
frightening conversation with Kim. We were watching Passions
and Theresa was annoying her as usual and Kim's all like "If
she were my friend, I would have dumped her a long time ago
with all that shit" and she goes on to say "Friendships
don't last forever." Well, thanks, that's reassuring to
know. This is just like 20 minutes after she gave me the
whole lecture of how I should get out more and meet more
people and make more friends. It just scared me because, is
this supposed to be some kind of not-so nice hint or
something? Like "I'm sick and tired of your shit and don't
want to be your friend anymore? The only reason I'm still
here is because I need a place to live?" I dunno. I'm
scared. I really am. You know how much she means to me and
I'd be absolutely crushed if she didn't feel the same way.
But then again she's been really tired and her shoulder has
been bothering her again so she's not like herself when
she's like that. I just want to go back to the way things
were- closer than close. I want it, I NEED it, to be sure of
myself again. I feel like in the last while I have lost
myself in all of this insecurity. I'm not that
happy-go-lucky person I once was and that upsets me. I want
ME back. Maybe that's why she doesn't like me anymore? I
don't know. I could completely be jumping to conclusions. I
don't know. I don't know anything anymore!

Current mood: confused
Current music: "Selfish"- N'SYNC