The Sexy Blonde
2001-12-11 22:40:29 (UTC)

Sex is good and bad

Okay all I am going to recap my life. Here goes

From the ages of 1-2 I was born and raised a short while in
Fallbrook, California. Then I lived in Minneapolis &
Burnsville Minnesota for 10 1/2 years until I was 12.

In August 1999 I moved to Fort Worth, Texas. My
mother, brother, and I moved into a 3 bedroom apartment, in
a not so decent neighborhood. My brother lived with us for
a short while but he didn't have enough credits to be a
senior like he was suppose to in Texas, so he decided to go
back to live in Minnesota until he graduated then come back
to Texas to live with my mom and I.

I eventually started junior high school in Everman. I
was siked. I was happy and free, I had felt like I was a
grown up. Amazingly enough I wanted to act like one and go
out and party, get drunk, try drugs, screw guys, leave home
for days, and cuss at my mom, get in fights, and throw
slutty hotel parties. I hung out with hoes, and all my
friends were guys.

My brother never came back down after school he wanted
to stay up there with his girlfriend, so he did. He
eventually got his first tattoo. Him and his girlfriend
broke up and he got into a car accident and totalled his
car. So this last week of October he moved down here to
stay with us.

I got into so much trouble in Fort Worth that my mom
decided I needed a fresh start. SO we ended up moving to
Dallas. We lived over (this was last year, my brother
doesn't live with us yet)here for about 2 years now. We
live in an older type of house, 3 bedrooms, garage, and 2

In December 18, 2000 I met Eric and we dated until February 11,
he broke up with me and a week later, February 18, I met Jose Cena my
now and future husband. *I seem to meet guys on the 18th a lot* Jose
and I are still dating. I am so serious with him that if he asked me
to have a baby right now, I would get pregnant right away. Even if I
am too young or not ready I would do it for him. We have been
together for almost a year now. We have a very serious relationship,
we have passionate sex, we talk deep, we are very involved, we talk
at least 4 times a day, even during school, on weekends I sleep over
at his house. Two months ago we had a recent "mishap" and I
thought/believed I was pregnant. I ate like a monkey and I had the
cravings. I took test and they were negative. Then today today today
I was relieved to have gotten my period. In some ways I wanted a baby
but in other ways I thought about my future and things I didn't know
about it.

Jose and I are a great couple. He is my best friend and I am
his best friend. He loves me and I love him. We will make it last
forever. Today in this life time the tradgic loss of the people in
New York made me cry. I was appalled by the situation they put
America in. I watched the news and cried. I cried when a couple
jumped out of a 100th floor together hand in hand. It was absolutely
sad. I thought about my future and all those childrens future in New
York. I sent money to a "Raise money for New York thing" I felt
better, but I shouldn't I didn't do much, I didn't give that person a
job, or there car back. I didn't give them there life back, or there
childrens life back.

This year has been the greatest. I have had a great year. My
mom works at a hospital and I started volunteering there in the
summer. I made friends, and I worked hard in the radiation oncology
unit. My supervisors name was Brenda, she was nice at first but then
she got very demanding and bitchy. So one day I told her I was going
to lunch, and I never came back. My mom turned my uniform in and that
was that. I got a certificate for volunteering at the V.A. Hospital
of Texas. It will go on my college record. This summer I also went to
Sea World in San Antonio, Texas with my boyfriend and his mom, dad,
brother, and 2 year old nephew. I had gotten real sick a week after I
came back and I couldn't breath I was in the emergency a lot, and I
ended up having surgery July 26th 2001. I had a tonsilectumy, and my
adnoids taken out. Ever since then I have had trouble breathing. I
feel bad because when I kiss my boyfriend for a long time I have
trouble breathing. Or when I run, I have trouble breathing.

This summer was great though. I also forgot my mom has been
dating this black dude named Dupree. They have been together for
almost 2 years. I was also kicked out of my new dallas school. I was
sent to an alternative center in Seagoville. I was the only white
person there. Half black and the other half hispanic. I made enemies
and I mad friends. There were lots of guys who asked me out too. Of
course I said no. There were 2 black chics pregnant and 2 other black
chics, and 2 hispanic girls and my best homegirl was sent up there
with me her name is Tashia, but she half white half black but she
looks more black then ever.

Anyway I would die for Jose he is my love he is my life.

School is going great I am a depressed individual right now, I
have gone through so much lately, especially the last 2 months of not
getting my period. I love Jose and he loves me and thats all thats
too it. If one day he said he up and hated me, just said "I hate you"
I couldn't live anymore, I would have to kill myself in the next few
hours. I love him more then anybody more then I would my own baby.
I'm sorry but thats just the way I feel. Of course I love him. I love
him like anybody would love there mother. I just don't have that same
connection with my mother anymore because she left her boyfriend step
in and punish me and he knocked me against the wall screamed in my
face and almost broke my arm, he slammed me into the wall. 5 or 6
months after it happened I asked her to apologize and she wouldn't.
My feelings as her being my mother and always protecting me changed
forever that day that had happened.

School this year is great I love my English-1 class my
teacher is so awesome she is so cool. She always had something to say
and she always "scores" on the dumb boys who open there mouth. I
think she wears to much makeup though. But she is sort of pretty.

My spanish teacher is a straight up bitch and she is fat, she
always has an attitude or something to say to somebody. Everyone
hates her class. She was suppose to retire this year but she changed
her damn time.

Geography- not to fun my teacher (I'm not rasist) is black. She
is always talking to all the black students in the room except Kassy
who acts black (shes white) because she is pregnant by a black guy.
She is very bossy and makes people look dumb, and she has a very
sarcastic mouth. She only picks on the smart white students for the
answers and she doesn't pick on the black folks because she
automatically assumes there dumb because they play sports.

gym- I do great in this class I have made a straight 100 the whole
year. I dress out every day and I participate in whatever I can. I
got in trouble once for chewing gum but thats about it.

IPC- right after the 9-11-01 attack my teacher Mr. Bob Butchee (mid
40s , white male) choked a young black female student in a hallway
dispute, and he got fired. Then we had subs for a few months then a
lady named Ms. Zima filled in the position and is still here but she
may not be back next semester. She doesn't remember she is a white
mid-40s lady , she is a ditzy lady with a lousy memory.

BCIS Keyboarding- he is a sarcastic bastard and everything has to be
perfect, you make one error and he is on you, everything has to be in
the day we get it assigned to us. He sometimes doesn't take lates and
he doesn't stay after school. He does tutoring in the morning if you
can catch him. He is moral stupid , I take offense to this...the book
we work with he calls "it"(the book) the "Bible" which I do not
like. He sat me in the front and he already kicked me out once
because I wouldn't stop typing when he told us. He is an opinionated
bastarded. Why can't he retire his skinny bastard-ass self already.

Algebra is crap right now I had a teacher who is Pakestany or
however the fuck you spell it and he didn't speak very good english,
and he muttered when he talked and it was hard to understand. So I
got out of his class and switched into a worse class. Where people
through books at others head, rip down the lights and kick in the
walls. Some girl actually started a book on fire, the cops have been
down to our class for more then 50 times for insubordenance and other
crap. Anyway I didn't understand it and I told my new alg. teacher
that I didn't understand. So one Thursday afternoon I stayed after
school for 3 hours and he made me understand but now it is crap again
and I just don't understand. So I don't think I am going to pass this
3rd 6 weeks.

This Christmas is going to be hell. I don't have much money
for anything. I have $20.00 saved and thats not enough to buy my best
friend, my fav teacher, my fiance, my fiances parents, my mom , my
bro, my fiances bor and sis, her child, or any relatives that send me
gifts through the mail. Another friend already told me she got me a
gift for Christmas already and I hadn't even thought about Christmas
yet, then my mom just told me yesterday that I could get a set of
love rings out of a Finger Hut magazine, there $100.00 a piece, there
a matching love set, one for me and onw for him.

I hope he likes them, right now I am trying to figure out his
ring size. I also need to tell him I got my period today which is
great news. I want him to have his dream. His dream is for me to walk
down the aisle a virgin ( at heart, I know I've had sex), and to be
married and then have a home and then start with the baby.

Well I am going to go now I really need to write in another diary so
later people got to go ~chow~