My MeSsEd up LiFe; Maybe...
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2001-12-11 20:27:56 (UTC)

My One Poem.........

Never Will

Once you get close to a loved one
Why do they leave so soon?
You open up to them and they leave the
Hurts more than anything to know they'll
Never be coming back to see you again
To know that you wont be able to spend
Christmas with them like you use to
To spend your birthday with them
Your first wedding.
They'll never be there in person
But watching you from where they are
Not the same at all
Hurts even more when you see pictures
Of them and you together; happy
Knowing all that happiness only lasted
About 12 years or so
Also knowing they never saw your
12th birthday because they were in the
Hospital, trying to heal their brain
Though didn't work
Still left 2 months later

And the worst part of it all is
Seeing them not in the hospital bed
Waiting for you to come visit them
Finding out that they passed away the
Night before
Parents not letting you know at all
Not wanting to tell you to see you cry before
Didn't work.
Cried even more to see what happened
Memories haunt
Never will leave my mind of that moment
Never will.

That is a poem about my grandmother. I was very very VERY
close wit her, I lived wit her most of my life. Though I
lived wit my mom n step father I was at her house alot to
see my cousins n my friend John. But the day she died was
April 21, 1997. (April 22nd) The other day was a half day
for me and so I went up to the hospital since the school
was right near it. My mom wasnt there but she told me to go
sit wit her if she wasnt there to pick me up. So i went up
to the hospital, didn't see my moms car where she usually
parked. Went up to her room, walked half way in the room
noticed my grandma wasnt in the bed, the bed was made, her
things were all gone, tv was off. A nurse came over and I
asked if she was moved. Tears started to come down my
cheeks as the nurse wouldnt answer me. At that point I knew
she wasn't moved, she had passed way that night (the 21st).
The nurse took me in the waiting room, I was crying so bad
i couldn't even stand up. I was seated down, the tears just
fell like rain drops. I wouldnt say a word to the nurse or
the doctor. They asked me questions and I just hid my head
on the couch. Then one nurse took me to another lady and I
called my aunt, I couldnt even speak to her. My aunt came
later but my mom came before her. I was in the lobby,
sitting there in a stare not saying a word not looking at
anyone. She came over to me crying, we both cried. When I
got in the car i wouldnt say a word again, I was staring
out the window the whole time.
So yeah, some people may think I'm just dumb for being like
I am towards this. Well it's not, it hit me hard and I will
never forget what I saw. Everyone says I need to move on
with my life, I never will be able to until I get treated
right by certain people. not my family at all, but by
friends and so on. I get odd looks when I tell people I can
see n hear people in my house (spirits). Which its very
true, yesterday morning I saw someone standing right
infront of me. The house I live in is my grandparents old
house and well I know they are here and for everyone else
that I was close to that passed away is here. Only me and
my 3 year old bro can see and hear them. But I'm the one
who mostly does though. I've gotten use to it all, but
people tell me that I needa move on. Never will be able to.
A 12 year old seeing that just isnt good, especially when
their grandparent was like a mother or a father to them. I
wont be fully over it, but I will never forget it.
Well I'm not gonna say anything else...................


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