UCLA Bear Chasing
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2001-12-11 04:47:55 (UTC)

Finals finals finals....overwhelmed!

Monday, December 10 2001 8:08PM

Playlist: Antonio Carlos Jobim - Diggin' Deeper
" " " - 10 Batidinha
Kylie Minogue - Outta My Head
Butthole Surfers - Pepper
Muppets & Carol King - Lime in the Coconut
Tori Amos - If 6 was 9
Celia Cruz - De Cuba A México

The time is here! The time when I get to prove to my TAs
that I can write down on paper all the competency I
expressed in my discussions and labs!

I've got a huge final for my History of India class that
accounts for 45% of my grade. It's 10 short-answer
questions and 4 essays, duration of three hours. I'm
extremely worried that I won't do as well as I would like
to. I'm going into the final with a 96.25% in the class by
my calculations. I can afford an 80.75% on the final and
keep my A, but i'm afraid i won't hit the mark so well. My
TA likes me, though, so hopefully his bias will carry me

That sounds awful, I know, but I know the material. When
there's 5000 years covered in a course, it's difficult to
get it all and to get all the specifics.

In any case I've been drinking Pepsis and Bottled
Frappuccinos to wash down my Vivarin caffeine pills. So I've
been jittery.

On top of all that, I got in a stupid argument with my
sister, had someone I'd dated tell me he has no feelings
for me nor any desire to continue to see me, and had my
boyfriend-on-hiatus in Florida leave a message on my cell
phone that was very emotionally touching. Too much in one
night for me to handle. I can't really process it all. I've
also had other people petitioning my presence, asking
questions on issues regarding our relationships with each
other that I just haven't given much consideration to
considering my finals predicament...

Oh Elipsis! The issues you represent, as they slip down the
vortex of my awareness. Oh ungodly Prose! How your
cheesiness overenforces my implications! Oh Language! What
a problem you were even at your genesis!


So I take a break as I write this, listening to my Bossa
Nova and muppet masterpieces and try to relax myself. I
imagine myself on a sandy beach in Salvador, with some
Brazilian Bear, making small-talk with my virgin margarita
as the sun tans us. Gilberto Gil strolls by, playing his
guitar and singing softly to a band of young black boys
from the favelas. It's the three of us and Imanjá, the
goddess of the sea. Love, music, salt, sweet, and a view of
the sea. ~*sigh*~ Assim o paradiso é, não é?

I'd already taken one break today, and ripped some mp3s of
some stuff to ad to my collection...anyway this entry is
losing substance and direction, so I take my leave...


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