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2001-12-11 03:49:13 (UTC)

totally exhausted

today wasnt one of my best days. during second period today
while running an errand with my friend in the office with
me ; i went into the class where she had stopped to meet up
with her and when i went in there the guys just started
giving me this look that made me feel really low and dirty
so as we r leaving one of them acts like he is grabbing my
but and i felt so embarrised because the guys that i liked
was in that class. guys can be such idiots some times. i
really dont see how stripers do it because when those guys
did that to me it made me feel dirty and cheap or something.
i still havent read the book yet i just totally gave up. i
honestly think there is something wrong with me. its like i
cant do anything stressfull because i will just
automatically give up .... i dont know what to do its like
my mind is running at a quadrillian times a minute and i
cant keep up. im failing senior english and pre cal i have
totally given up on my dreams and have no ambition.
sometimes i feel like no one knows what im going through.
my mother thinks im a genius and brags to everyone how
smart i am but she has no idea how i am struggling not only
in school but with myself. i have talked to her but her
soloutions doesnt help me at all i have talked to friends
teachers and no one seems to help me. i dont know what im
going to do with myself i am so exhausted; being this way
takes all my energy. on top of being slow i have no life..
no friend or boyfriends. i dont get it , i have been told
that i present myself well, that im pretty, smart looking ,
etc..ALL BY GUYS but none of them like me i dont know what
i do wrong im not sloppy or ghetto or anything like that.
ah well
maybe one day life will change im gettin tired now