broken stars and shooting hearts

My day by day struggle.......
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2001-12-10 23:04:41 (UTC)

Ripping the Stitches from MY already broken HeaRT

Well what a way to start a journal, with something sad and
depressing. Hmmmmm...... I bet that probably nobody does
that. But anyways to start out today was an average day.
Rather blah outside, raining and cold. So much crap has
been going on the last week. Story goes like this, meet a
girl at a couple concerts, become good friends with girl,
go to her house to watch movie (crappy movies at that),
girl kisses me, start going out on dates with girl but
don't "date" her, girl cheates on me, lies to me, hurts me
increadibly. Well this is the point of the story that
catches everyone by suprise. In most cases that person
would never be talked to again. BUT (there has to be a but
to explain this) this girl means so much to me. Lots of
crying and feelings of hurt and anger (logicly). (Had my
best friend Megan to help me through though) Talked to the
girl last night (from now on i'll use her name which is
april) about everything. cried some more. resolved a lot of
issues between us, forgave her. I'm still hurt deep down in
side and i'll need to replace the stitches that were
holding together my heart and put some new ones in. I think
i'll get over it. For right now i'm going to just be
friends with April and try to help her get her life right
with God. She's going to Nashville next week with Ryan.
She says that she trusts herself with him so I'm trying to
trust her judgement. Man....... i wonder if i'm too
trusting of people. well I trust april so screw anyone who
thinks that i'm an idiot for trusting her.