Emo song waiting to happen...
2001-12-10 22:55:35 (UTC)

The Education System Sucks...

I'm crying... I'm such a fucking pussy... how could I be so
emotionally weak? and how could my parents be so fucking
stupid? I'll never understand life... ever... I don't
think my parents will ever understand me either, all they
care about is "you have to make money in life, and get a
good job and go to college" they could care less what makes
me happy. If the thing that would make me the happiest man
on earth was to be a bum, my parents wouldn't let me, just
cause I'd be poor, but what if I wanted to be poor? then
what? I'd never be happy... it probably sounds kinda
stupid but it's true, my dream is to become a guitarist,
singer, and songwriter for my band. It's the only thing
that makes me happy, and will continue to make me happy,
it's the only thing I can really ever depend on
sometimes... I can't even depend on my own damn girlfriend
anymore... all I know is that I want to be in a band when I
grow up, yeah yeah I'm too young, well fuck you I don't
care, I would eat less, live in my car if I had to for a
while just to make my dreams come true. I'd drive halfway
across the country if I had to, but no, it almost looks
like it'll never happen cause my parents don't give a shit
about my dream as long as I graduate from school, but
school sucks, the whole education system sucks. And I
fucking hate those stupid intelectual people who are like
"well you have to keep learning, cause it's just better
that way" FUCKING BULLSHIT man, why should we learn an
endless amount of knowledge, just to wake up dead one
morning, then what? There was no point in it. I know we
wern't put on earth to serve ourselves, but hell if there
is a God, I'd bet he'd want us to be happy, and if he
wouldn't want that? then he's a fucking asshole dude, he's
the one who put us here, and he's the one who made us want
things, if he didn't want people to want things then he
would have made people that way. FUCK school... I'm
failing Pre-Cal and my parents are pissed at me, sorry I
keep falling asleep in that class due to pressure of OTHER
THINGS THAN JUST SCHOOL, DAMMIT! There is more to life
than school people, Jesus Christ... fuck that I don't even
want to talk about it anymore it just gets me angrier...
well things with Nikki arn't so well still... I found her
to be flirting with Robert again at lunch... I think she's
looking for reasons for me to get mad at her. I found out
from her friend Susan that she likes "agressive guys."
Man, I'm not an agressive guy, not when it comes to girls,
when it comes to girls I'm Mr. Nice Guy. But hey I came up
with an idea, since she likes guys to get mad at her, then
so be it. I think I should take her out on a walk and just
tell her off for all the crap she's done lately, she
deserves it, and I need to gain some sort of control,
shit. Then I'd tell her how I've been trying to do all
these sweet things for her, and all she's been doing is
trying to blow me off, and all this crap, and then she'd
kiss me... haha I wish, like in those movies, that would be
awesome but I don't know if that'll happen. I just don't
know right now, I just wish she'd fucking like me for who I
am, but seeing as how I like her so much I'm willing to try
anything. well I got drivers ed in a while... I think I'll
stop writing for now.

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