Thalia

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2001-12-10 08:24:20 (UTC)

In the Beginning...

Well, today is the first day i write in my daily diary on
here. I'm kinda excited....i love to write, but i hardly
get time anymore. life, love, and school just exhaust me,
and i have so few moments to reflect on what i'm doing,
where i'm going, and this will be just a little time to be
alone with my thoughts.
My name is Thalia, and i'm dedicating my diary to my friend
who's encouraged me to start writing again - You know who
you are, CS. :) only you truly understand - and love - all
aspects of my personality and mind, and i will never let
you go. I love you with all my heart, and you will be with
me all my days. thanks for allowing me to be my "darker
half". **kisses and hugs**

well....where to begin? been so long since i was able to
sit down and express myself the second best way i can -
writing. (My first - Body language, of course! :) ) Finals
week is upon me, finding this week to be the best out of
the last few years - only a few exams on one day, then rest
to just relax.
i miss my love, BB. I haven't seen him in 3 weeks, 'cause
duty and school keep me away. i totally understand what
some other people are going through on here (i call my
boyfriend "honey bear" too! :) ) BB is a very social being
and i definitely recognize his need for a very active
social life. he's still at home, but that doesn't exactly
offer him the comaradery he thirsts for. he also needs to
be around people who look up to him. i mean, who doesn't? I
feel it's my fault sometimes, that he goes through periods
of loneliness, since i'm away at school and i'm not by his side. His
friends are usually younger than him,
and they end up growing up, going into the service, moving,
or just generally screwing him over.

i not only view him as a lover and future husband, but also
one of my best friends. we have such a good time together,
wrestling and talking about inane topics and some pretty
important issues. i absolutely love talking to him. he's
very intelligent, and i couldn't be with someone who
couldn't hold a conversation with me. i know i must sound
like a juvenile talking about her first boyfriend and just
got over her bouts of cooties, but he makes me want to be
an adult yet keep my sense of wonder and playfulness about
the world. I also am aware of my naivete when it comes to
the world in general, and i believe he see it as his duty
to protect my "innocence" in that kind of way. He likes to
protect people, sometimes from themselves, and is still
oblivious to the fact that he CAN'T fix others' lives;
**they** must do it. so sometimes i must be the voice of
reason and explain to him that i know he tries hard to make
people happy, but he can't do it all. so, in many ways, i
want to protect him as much as he protects me. no matter
what, he'll always be my knight in shiny black Jag. *giggle*
he reminds me of my dad in many ways.

and although we've been together for many years, i still
have much left he hasn't seen. I'm a very, very sensual
creature; one touch up my spine does wonders on me. i'm
sensitive and have a romantic head. I don't mean that i
watch chick flicks and Lifetime is my favorite channel (i
dislike both, actually). certain scents and atmospheres
affect me (e.g. rose-scented potpourri and candlelight is a
very nice beginning to a nice night). I used to write him
letters about how different things i'd like to do and have
done to me, but it just seemed that he ignored them. so i
stopped writing. he's not much of a writer or a phone-
talker, which is a bit frustrating for me because i'm an
avid one of both.


oh well. I'll write more when i am more conscious, as it's
3:20 am and i have to study tomorrow. bonne nuit!


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