Joshin Jane

Passionfruit
2001-12-10 04:23:24 (UTC)

baking chocolate

please don't think of me as sadistic, but it almost makes
me feel good to know that how i feel can make you scared.

so, trying to get this down in words....
i obviously didn't get into this friendship expecting a
relationship.
you live a million miles away.
when things started moving in the direction they did, i
just let them play out.
whatever happened happened.
our friendship started seeming very romantic, even though we knew it
wasn't.
and when people started questioning that, i did also.
for the first time, i saw it as being exactly what i was
always looking for in a relationship...
so why was this only a friendship?
why was i still looking for a relationship when i had this?
my subconscious thoughts developed and coagulated on their
own, without consulting me, into a volatile emotional
package.
now there's this seeing each other thing that's happening
in four days and last night, the subconscious emotional
coalition went rampant and i had to start thinking about things.
so hence, the chocolate analogy.




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