a little piece of me
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2001-12-09 18:45:29 (UTC)

you know who...again

i know i know...i say i'm not going to write about him
much, for reasons i don't want to say, but i just can't
help it. the love i feel for brett is just so strong
today. actually, i started feeling this strongly yesterday
afternoon some time. i hadn't heard from him all day, so i
was starting to get a little worried. at almost midnight,
still no word, and i got a little freaked. i always
imagine the worst (i guess that way if anything less
happens, it's a relief, but if it does, i'm already
partially prepared for it, you know?). anyway, i realized
how much i really do care about him, and that it would be
aweful without him. well, right about midnight he finally
called. it was such a relief to hear his voice. he didn't
have a card, so i called him back. we talked for five
hours but it didn't seem near that long. lol, i didn't
think i was capable of talking for so long, but i guess
so. anyway, i was so emotionally overwhelmed...he told me
that he knows he's in love with me. it made me cry! (i can
be such a girl sometimes!! lol). there were times when i
just couldn't breathe. i love him more than words can
describe. last night was so amazing...words just can't do
it justice, so i'm really not going to try. i can't
imagine him not being in my life. i don't want to think
about that. i am totally in love with him and i hope
things work out with us.

ok, enough about him. sigh. in other news, i got to talk
to heather yesterday! i feel so bad about all the tough
luck her and her family have had lately. i really wish i
could do something (other than just be her friend). i just
love talking to her. i absolutely love her laugh! it's so
contageous! she is so much fun to talk to. lol. just
thinking about her laugh makes me laugh (:P to you
heather!). i won't be able to talk much at all this week,
but i'm going to try to call her thursday afternoon again.
i hope i can. i'm also so incredibly lucky to have her in
my life. she's an amazing person. i still think it's a
miracle, her coming into my life. seriously, i know i
would have 'slit my wrists and ran them under warm water'
if she hadn't come along. hate to be morbid, but it's the
truth. thanks for everything heather. luv ya!

well, i need to take a shower and get to work on painting
and studying. ugh. hellish week this week. yesterday was
bum day (i stayed in bed and read for most of the day...so
nice!). now it's time to get to work. have a good week


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