MsKarma

i had to start over

so i had to start over... cause i was stumbling all over
myself, and the reason .. aww fuck , i dont; even know..
rationalingins feelings.. doesn;t work... i dont; knwo
becaue its trivial to me, in my mind, rationalizing these
feelings, to me is trivail, even though they are not,i need
ot open up, i need to alwow mysel fto ahev theses feeligns,
tehre is no reason why i can't, other thani ts in my own
fucking head.. im a jackass... it think because its 938 am
on a sunday, i have school work to do, i woke upt hinking
baout boys, becaus i went to sleep thinking about boys, ive
got poerty in my head, great ideas, boxers, tom robbins,
mangoes, paintints, beaurty, strnegth, feal, lotahing,t eh
ameircan dream, boys boys boys, dinner, garlic... too
manythings, radom things that im not used ot thinking baout
together, and the sound track is incubus, which is not
normal for me, only i need ot get away form waht is normal,
because what is normal for me is NOT ME...the dog is
barking, id ont get up.. to many things, amyeb thsi will
help, no its more, i don;t want more, i want this to be
done with i want it to be over, done , finished, thought
out, wonderful, over, complete and done... but it can't be
becayse ibe procratinated, ive wait, my entir ife has been
waiting, fuckl, i need to do, i need to take action, why
haven't i been lseeping? cause my boday says i shoudl be
doing...i need to sleep to do, ive gained weight, be cause
i have been idle, not doing, eating as a way to put off
doing, oh, i need to do so thngs can be done...done done..
i'll do.. today i'll do, but first i sleep... spanish,
english.. books, reading, writeing, paiting, sleeping,
breathing, what else is tehre to do?! no, idt dones;
matter, yes yes it does, iut matters what i do, perhaps
only to the poitn that i do... do and do... do not ask
just do. make the move...