somewhere over the rainbow
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2001-12-09 07:24:51 (UTC)

12-9-01 12:59 AM

hello, whats up. my name is amanda jean. i come from a
small town in sussex wisconsin. sussex has the populaton of
like 2 it so boring here. its a living hell. theres alotta
things going in my life, some good, some bad. mostly bad. i
thought an online diary would be a great way to let out my
anger instead of on myself. i called this page some where
over the rainbow cuz whne ever im sad or down or what ever
i always sing or hum some where over th rainbow. it just
cheers me up. and the song is so true cuz i think if u try
so hard at your dreams they will come true. :)

umm just a lil bit about me.

family:my mom pressures me and i feel like she doesnt
appreciate me some times. i wish i could just have a hug
from her, as corny as it may sound. it just seems thats
just like what i need, our family isnt a loveing family. we
are just kinda together cuz we have to be, my parents care
a lot about what other people think. my parents also look
down on people different from them selves. I am trying not
to do that latly. thats a big goal of mine, not to judge
people and not to be close minded about things, i always
try new things.

Hobbies:One thing i love is student council. Student
council is where i feel i belong. i feel, important, and i
feel like my help is needed and appreciated. Student
council is like the closest thing i have to a family. i
love my friends that i made in student council more than my
family. i could live with out my family, i cant live with
my student cuncil friends

friends: i dont have that many friends, im not like a loner
that eats lunch alone, i geuss i just am afraid to meet new people,
im afraid that if i open up to them and tell them all my
secrets and stories that they will just like, blab it all
or not care or not like me or what ever. but the friends i
do have, i love. jim, one of my friends, my best friend i
guess you can call him, we were friends since 1st grade.
we are so different now, i think the only reason we are
together is becuz we have such a long history. the past
couple of years he has been getting involved in drugs.
that scares me. drugs are a scary thing. i have tried to smoke weed
b4 but it waskinda like just for my friends

Internet: internet plays a MAJOR role in my life. there
are these boys that i met online. they are from naperville
IL. they are so perfect and they dont even relise it. im
like totally in love with them and they like, dont even
care. lol.....it sounds pretty stupid I try to share my every thought
with them but its so hard. Im afraid they are going to hate me and
see how imperfect i am compared to them

and yeah thats about it