Magic of Mascara
Ad 0:
2001-12-09 06:28:06 (UTC)

My new journal

I've been having a lot of trouble keeping 'hater bitches'
out of my life so I'm starting this new journal site to
talk about my feelings and I'm gonna use my old journal
site for my crazy thoughts.


That's my other journal site. It rocks, it has color and
pictures and all, this is just gonna be me pouring out
emotions os I don't need color or pictures, just words. I
really dont have much to say right now...yeah i do:

Why is there no trust in any of the relationships I have
with anyone outside of my family right now. I trust
absolutely nobody. I can't trust my bestfriend because
she's always getting caught up in her stories. I can't
trust jeff because I don't even know him that well. I've
seriously have known him for two weeks, going on three.
That's not that long. I can't trust my other bestfriend
because I don't feel close to her anymore, well at leat not
as close as I did before, when she first started going out
with her boyfriend. I just want everything to be different,
everything to be ok and I want everyone to put on a front
and I want my life to be sane again. I swear if I hear
about someone coming after me one more time I'm gonna flip
cause I can't take all the stress and depression it's
giving me. On top of that i have no boyfriend. No one to be
close with and I envy Kerri and Dom so much because she has
what i want. Why can't I watch SLC Punk with my boyfriend
and cuttle and have a night of relaxation? Why do the guys
I like have to be taken/assholes or taken??? I can't stand
it, I wanna be 5 again and play in the back yard and know
of nothing but my barbies and toys.