My Life
2001-12-08 18:16:17 (UTC)

The friendship ends here...

I had the following email from the farmer this a.m.:
Hey Michele,

Hope that this e-mail catches you in a good mood. I have
been busy hauling gravel on my driveway and trying to keep
it fairly level since you don't know from day to day if the
freezeup will come for the duration or not.

I have one of my few saturday nights off since William will
be visiting with his aunt and uncle on his mother's side
tonight but I will see him Sunday when we will put up snow
fence and some other tasks.

I have a new tax client coming this morning so I need to
get ready for that appointment.

I did have some comments on the rights of society versus the
rights of individuals, but I think that will be debated
enough in the press in the coming weeks and months that I
can spare my comments. But I think there are checks and
balances that need to be in place to protect everyone
rights. This carries over to the abortion argument as well
as gay rights. But if there is not an underlying framework
based on some universal laws, well get ready for the riots
and anarchy.

Hope you have a great weekend.

Best regards,
To which I answered the following. I wasn't going to even
respond but decided I wanted to be honest and let it be
known how I felt.

Hi Lynn,
I do not want to debate with you about gay rights, that was
not my focus. You obviously did not get my point, your
comment surprised me because it showed hate. I thought you
were a better Christian than that. Your comment was
hateful, i don't care if they are gay, different race,
whatever....whoever they are, they have no value to you as
human beings and I think that is wrong and that is not what
Jesus would want you to feel.
You are entitled to think whatever you want and I'm not
going to try and convince you.
Your excuse you fed me at our dinner meeting, that I
misunderstood, that you meant that they had no value
because they won't be reproducing? That is just lame and I
don't think that is what you meant at all. I am not a
stupid woman and I don't like being treated like that.
Your last email where you said that you wanted something
much more than a casual relationship. Well that surprised
me. From the beginning, you have sent me conflicting
messages and I couldn't tell if you were interested or not.
You have made minimal effort toward me and our last
meeting, you didn't even say goodbye!? You just got in the
car and followed me. Our first meeting you held my hand,
seemed affectionate, Second time when we were at the
movies, you seemed embarrassed to have me with you.
You are correct, I have been dating and there is one in
particular i've seen a lot of and I know how he feels by
what he says and does. His actions tell me he cares for me.
I agonized earlier over you because I really liked you and
what you were about and I just wanted so much for you to
see me, but I don't think you've given me a chance or made
the effort. And now that I think you may be interested,
according to your last email, I feel different. You didn't
make me feel special the last time I saw you. Or the time
I'm sorry to be so blunt but I figure I should just be
His reply:
Hello Michele,

Thanks for the candid e-mail. I think it takes a long time
to get to know someone well and that is why long distance
relationships are in trouble from the get-go. Especially
when you are dealing with someone (me) that is working
double the hours of most people. When people ask me why I
am single, I guess a large part of it would be the
workaholic life I lead, and then spending the 10% of the
time I am not working trying to maintain a relationship
with my gifted son.

I am abivalent when I meet someone just because I do want
things to procede at a slow pace. I have hopefully learned
my lesson about hurrying love, and letting things develop
at the right pace. I am sorry if I made you feel unwanted,
that was not the case at all, I think you are an
attractive, sweet, gal that any guy would be proud to be
seen with.
If I seemed uncomfortable at the "Herman" movie it was
because of someone else being in the theatre, a gal that I
had platonically dated several times. She was obviously
impressed by your looks as she called me up and wanted to
know all about you. I think she thought of herself as the
local gal in the "Herman" movie losing the local
hero to the city gal.

But she is a gal that has never once shown William any
affection, and the last time I ever dated her she told me
that she felt a child's place is with their mother. I think
that comes from having dated a number of divorced men that
probably feel the same way about their kids. But obviously
not the way I feel.

As far as actions go, do you think Lynn has ever done
anything mean to another person, gay or not? The comment
about mattering, from a biological standpoint, is not an
original quote, and actually doesn't make a whole lot of
sense upon reflection. Jesus may have not left any
descendents behind but his life mattered. But comparing
one's choice to engage in same sex relationships to the
chance event of having more pigment in one's skin is not an
accurate comparison.

Just like someone making the choice to take the life of an
unborn child and comparing it to the right to choose to
engage in sexual relations or not. Semantics can change the
tone of a debate but the factual essence doesn't change.

I won't call you up anymore, but do hold you in high esteem.

I do think that you need to get your answering machine
fixed also, since you evidently didn't get the message that
I left that night after having "dinner/supper" :-) with you

I hope you have a pleasant trip out to California and that
you have a very merry Christmas.

Best regards,
There is nothing wrong with my answering machine, I just
didn't return his calls. The miles between us are not the
problem, he still doesn't get it. Nor is his work schedule,
i knew all about it, was understanding but HE was not
willing to make the effort.

Terry is coming over tonight, we're going to pick out a
tree, decorate it and I'm cooking him dinner! I'm looking
forward to seeing him.