lil_p

Crazy Thoughts
2001-12-08 15:27:47 (UTC)

Goodness I m sleeply. Wesley..

Goodness I'm sleeply. Wesley got on last night and I got to
talk to him for a while-I was in heaven! Another good thing
that happened last night was it SNOWED! About time! For the
past two weeks it's been 60 degress and sunny, and I live
in Michigan! I've been wanting snow just because it's
December and there's supposed to be snow, but also I wanna
go skiing, I'm determined to go skiing, and being able to
do it well (I've taken lessons-haha Rach, that's another
entry) Watch, I give it a month to two months and I'll hate
the snow, once it stays on the ground 5 feet thick for too
long.
When I woke up this morning, I laid in bed for about an
hour, and I prayed. I've never done that before, but it
felt good and a lot of my prayers have been answered-like
yesterday when I prayed for Riss's parents to do something-
they did and Riss is happy now. But there is one thing I
really want in this life, that I pray for everyday-that's
being with Wesley. I love him so much, and that's what I
truley want, yea, I want some other things too, but not as
much as Wesley! I'm crazy for him, and it's hard to think
of life without him-he's the one that makes my day so much
more brighter even if I haven't talken to him for a couple
of days. I love him, and I can only hope that I put forth
as much love to him as he does to me. I pray for that
chance in life to get out of here-out of this town and go
back to Kansas-that's where I wanna be! I've figured out a
plan, and I'm working my ass off to make things fall
through, you don't realiaze how bad I want it to work, if
it works, then I can be with Wesley! Never before in my
life have I felt this way, and I think for a lot of things
that have happened to me this year, that have prepelled me
to feel this way I have grown so much from the year before
and the year before that. I have been through so much more
shit than I could ever type up. I have walked more miles
then anyone my age could imagine, and I thank God for that.
One of my goals was to become a better Catholic (I set
goals for myself at the begining of each month) and look-
praying in bed for an hour is pretty much the same amount
of time I've prayed in my whole life. I'm trying to make an
effort to become closer to God and I'm not doing it through
ccd or confirmation classes- I'm doing it on my own which
makes me feel good.
Moving on to a little less religion heavy reading, I have
to go because I'm going to go get paint for my room. I'll
be on later to write more,
lil p