Ophelia

god is as helpless as me

April 2,6:01 p.m.
song of the moment: pink moon by nick drake

there arent any more clouds with silver lining, i see
everything how it is now. i went to church yesterday. and
the first thing the priest said was "give us your money"
(perhaps not in those words) and today my one and only made
me feel guilty about getting to hear the words "i love you"
as if it is something i am undeserving of and i woke up an
hour late today and i went to bed an hour late last night.
and i shouldnt think like this on days like today because
it will do nothing but confuse me more and cause me to
notice everything else negative. i'm too pessimistic, i
know. but its unavoidable when "god" needs your money more
than your faith. desperately try to find love peace empathy mischief
desire and gladness somewhere and dont let anyone convince you that
you dont have a right to it...perhaps i should try that