listen to my silences
2001-12-07 21:49:03 (UTC)



i know now you've told me just about everything that's
going on. i don't know if there are any other them minor
or not...that are going on. if so, you know i'm here.

g's need to be careful. yeah, luke's a great
guy, i (just like g) don't want you to be throwing your
heart into another torment. you were right last night in
your entry when you said something was going on...and i
told you the only thing that ever betrays me is my eyes.
i'll tell you later what it was...i can't say on here. not
right now anyways.

i'm amazed i didn't get any responses on my entry last
night...course most people won't even read it until today.
i was expecting to get yelled at. you know, i almost want
to start another diary in which i'm completely anonymous
and everyone i write about is too. nah...too much work. i
mean, it's not that i don't want people to know what i's just that it would be nice to be anonymous.
but then i'd have to think up different names for me and
well everyone i don't think so.

i didn't have very many dizzy spells today. i did have a
really bad one in spanish today. i didn't tell anyone when
it happened. like i've said before i hate pity...and i
don't want people worrying about me. i know they do and
will, but i don't want them to. anyways, it was gone
before lunch so it was all good. the others so far have
been minor.

ohmigosh i'm an idiot. yesterday i had to work. i thought
that i had to work at four, like always. so i show up at
four and almost clock in. i glance at the board and see my
name's not up there. so i look at the schedule and i
DIDN'T HAVE TO BE IN UNTIL SEVEN!!! yeah, i felt like an
idiot. i don't work until seven again tonight. only eight
hours again this week. but 21 next week so i'm happy for
that. just in time for christmas too. which could be a
bad thing cause i'll probably end up spending it all. self
control, i know, i know.

well, i'm out. later all.

final thought: am i hiding in the shadows? forget the pain
and forget the sorrows