bluff before i

my life, my world, my mind, my soul
2001-12-07 19:13:53 (UTC)

yup...

i have recently finished my senior project paper last
night...much taken off of my shoulders...much less to worry
about. i turned it in last period and my teacher wasn't mad
that it was a day late. all i have to do is wait to get it
back and make the corrections that the teacher wants me to
do.

tonight i go to see hamlet...a school production play. it's
supposed to be really good. i'm going with my boyfriend and
i hope to see my best friend there with her new boyfriend
of three and a half weeks. the sucky thing about the play
is that since our autitorium is being repaired it's going
to take place outside...in the cold..eek!!...i already
bought my boyfriends ticket..all i need to do is buy
mine..but i plan to buy it at the door. i know it's weird
that i bought his ticket instead of mine..i just wanted to
make sure that i was paying for him..he does too much for
me and even pays for me too much..this time it's my
turn!..the other night he helped me a lot with my project
and i don't think that he thought that he helped enough. he
did a ton!! it was great help and i really appritiated it.
i just hope he knows that..

yikes! i haven't written in here in a long while..not
allowed online so much anymore. but now that i got that
part of my project done i think that i might have more time
to be online..a lot of my friends are complaining that i'm
never on so maybe they'll be happier...

i missed out on my senior full class picture for the
yearbook yesterday. i stayed home from school because i had
a lot to work on. as much as i was looking forward to
taking it, for some really odd reason i don't regret
missing it...my mum might be a little dissapointed though.
she graduated from my school as her mother before her did,
and she wants me to do the same...my best friend was kinda
dissapointed because she wanted me to be there so that she
could stand with me...but she stood next to her boyfriend
so i think she was alright with that...i'm actually proud
of her for not letting an old friend sit on her shoulders
for the picture. the same friend who used her many times. i
might sound kind of mean talking about her that way though
but it's what was going through my head at the moment...

i wonder if she thinks that i use her the same??...i do
mooch off of her food but i share mine too...well if i do
use her i don't mean to, and i don't think that i go
overboard with it either. and i hope she knows that i would
do anything for her if she needed it. she means a lot to
me...

my other really good friend just got dumped by his
girlfriend right after he applied to switch to her school
to be close to her...the transfer is still processing so
he's leaving and i probably wont ever see him again...even
if he says we'll hang out...

i just noticed something...i trust very few people...i want
to keep it that way...just to be sure i wont get hurt.

my boyfriend wants to see his old friend and he's affraid
that i'll be jealous..i will be because that's the way i am
but i don't want to control him with jealousy. i want him
to see her. she's a really great person and i like her. and
i know that i can trust him.

yup...i trust him with my all my heart... :)