sweetaddiction

~*~*~*~
2001-12-07 05:15:01 (UTC)

the flu has disrupted my life

so tonight i told you that youre worse than cigarettes for
me.
and its so true.
your love is an addiction.
a sweet addiction.
were beautiful.
youre beautiful.
and i am so in love with you.
all the time.
ohhh too much coffee for me tonight.
yes yup yes.
i need to sleep i have a final tomorrow.
i will be so happy when i have a break from school.
its well deserved.


its so great to be over her.
so great.
so great to know that even if its weird when/if i see her.
that it wont be weird on my part..
maybe a little.
but not a lot.
and not in the way that it used to be.
i dont remember the last time that i saw her.
its crazy how she cant be completly out of my life though.
everyone still relates me to her.
her to i.
its strange.
its strange for me to be done with her.
i never thought that i would be.
and i never thought that i would be okay with it.
and i am.
i so am.
and i dont even think that its due to emily.
i think its more due to myself.
and thats a good thing.
she wouldnt even reconize me anymore.
dont think that shed even like me
i found a note from her today.
it made me laugh.
such bullshit.
from a huge drama freak.
but you know.
maybe she actually felt everyhting she did.
at the time.
the difference is.
i didnt plan on her changing.
maybe i should have.
but you know.
she affected me.
in a good way.
if it wasnt for her.
i never would have completly quit all the shit i was doing.
she was good for that.
everything has a reason.
maybe that was her reason.
for being in my life..
funny how things can turn into.
how did you affect me.
what do you bring to me.
what did you do for me.
using.
people use each other.
i used her..
things are so different now.
reflecting on who i was.
and who i am.
so different.
so much happier.
and its good.
its good that i can look back on things.
and be like yeah yeah
you know that was fun and that was good at the time.
and not be like, what a bitch.
you know.
i think thats good.
andi think its good that..
even though she changed and not me at the time.
that i can think about her.
us.
and be happy about it.
be happy that it happened.
and i am.
and also..
be happy that its over.
because...i am.
=)
and even if she comes back and is like god damn i want you.
which wouldnt happen.
ever.
and i know it.
but if it did.
i know that i would no longer want her.
which is so great.
and im happy.
i am.


i miss my baby.
im missing her lots right now.
i miss her hugs.
and her being annoying.
hehe.
=)
mowie has the flu now.
mommys going to make her take a bath.
shes not going to like that.
at all.
but maybe her and bob can take one together..
hehe.
crazy animal sex for them
yay
=)




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