Moving on....
2001-04-02 17:36:27 (UTC)

Okay, well Im back after a week..

Okay, well Im back after a week and a half. A lot has
happend since I last wrote in this Journal. Im just going to
continue on from where I left off before. So I started to
question our relationship and if it was the right thing. A
lot happend, but through it all I chose Chris because he was
my true love. I look back now, and I realize how much pain
we both caused each other and how deviant we both were. What
should have ended at 9 months turned out to be 15 months of
stress and worries throughout. When it did finally end, I
thought things would be better, only to discover how much I
missed his touch, his body, his laugh, his cry, even his
smell. I thought I could never find someone that made me
feel complete like he did. True I have the best friends and
family in the world that would be more than willing to be
there for me, but sometimes it just not the same. Well I
started dating someone soon after he and I broke up, thinking
that would help, but this guy just wasn't right for me. I
still missed Chris. I would see him out and just want to
watch him, yet I wanted to make him feel like crap for
treating me the way he did at times and pushing me away. Yes
I was so childish. JP and I dated for about 2 months or so,
but it wasn't really dating. We didn't have time for each
other. Once again, I felt, I would never find that happiness
again. Well.....one great day, I met Matt. Matt is a great
great guy! I have that "feeling" that I don't get with many
people. Only the people that I have that with I know will be
a special part of my life. Right now I have been enjoying
everything about him....Im even reuniting with old friends
that he is friends with that I haven't talk to in like 2
years. So that is also fun. He has already introduced me to
some new things and I love it. One things stands in our way,
and that is he may be moving to OSU (Columbus) in 1 month or
so, so if that happends we more than likely won't be
together. But if not, I'm sure we will do great together!
He seems very honest and faithful! Thats exactly what I
want! I went down to Columbus with him this past weekend and
I had the best time ever! He appreciates my kindess to him
as well as other people, and we can joke stupidly and when I
think of him, I just feel so lucky. He is very sweet and
caring! So I'm finally moving on to a better part of my
life. Finally!!! =)