I think too much...
I've been thinking. About this whole underwear e-mail
confirmation to girlfriend situation, so I had a quick
check of the header of the email she sent me (don't think
she knew I could do that) to try to find out who had got
into my Hotmail account and forwarded the email to her and
lo and behold the IP that it says the message originates
from is owned by the people she works for. Could be some
sort of coincidence, thinks I. Maybe that happened because
she then sent the email to me? So a little test. I send
myself an email and check the header. Strangely enough when
I look up the IP address of the originator it turns out to
be the people I work for. So by looks of things she got
into my Hotmail account and then sent the email to herself.
Not only that but she then deleted it from my Inbox and
cleared it from my Trash. Quite an operation. Shit, why
would she do that? She wants to break up with me? Looking
for an excuse? Christ, how does that make me feel?
I mean, I could be completely wrong but that does explain
why she asked me not to look into it and why she wouldn't
try to get the header for me (turns out she sent it anyway
with the original).
I mean, it had to be someone who knew my email addy and
hers. That can't be too many people. The people who know
hers would have no reason to know mine (it's not hard to
guess @hotmail.com but even so) and the people who
know both of us I had pretty much ruled out anyway (except
for the one but he's off the hook by the looks of things).
Man, this is really doing my head in. Come to think of it,
re the whole checking my ICQ history: I had a password on
ICQ which she must've cracked (not difficult, thanks ICQ
for your high security - actually I did find an ICQ hacking
thing on my PC just after she did it) and it just happened
to be the same as my Hotmail password (not any more).
She really can't trust me at all, dispite all the "I love
You"'s and "I trust you"'s she gives me.
Fuck. So what do I do now? Confront her? I'm tempted. Or
just leave it? Again tempting. But then what's the point of
having a relationship where you feel you have to spy on the
other person all the time.
This is yet another fine mess she's gotten me into.
I'm gonna have to go and think about this one. Crud