Claudia

once again
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2001-12-06 06:17:16 (UTC)

Good morning beautiful was the..

Good morning beautiful was the theme song for today. This
week I must say was good. Shawn opened up some to me and
he is going to a counselor for his emotionaly problems.
He's trying hs best to work shit out with himself and Amica
has offered to help in any way. I feel asleep in his arms
last ngiht and 4 am this morning he brough me back to the
hotel with both of us chocking back tears to be strong for
the other. I lost it when I got into bed. I missed him
the minute he left. And all I could think about is why
didn't i take more pictures, or go here with him or do this
with him. He's trying the only way he knows how. I give
him credit for that and I told Patricia what he plans on
doing. She was weirded out at first then suggested him
working with Mike. I was taken aback by that. She totally
accepted it. it was nice. So as soon as we left that
damn song came on the radio and I tried to hide the tears.
She didn't notice. I miss him, the plane ride was all
about him. I sat on my bed alone and decided that that
wasn't how I wanted to be any longer. I actually caight
myself saying that I would be back in Fl for him but I know
I can't do that. He has to do this. But that's the extent
of this for me. He cried so deeply with me...I held him.
He opened up after 2 years of me bitching about it. He did
it and now he's going to learn how to do it more. To make
him healthier. He's decided this all on his own too. I
called him tonight and he sounded a little down. I tried
calling a little bit ago...must be asleep already. They
actually goto bed pretty early there. So hopefully
tomorrow I'll talk to him. I need to just to hear his
voice. If he really makes Feb then I have only 2 months
before I can see him again. I hope this is all true...I
love him so much.


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