.Scream Your Dream.

Emo Violence
2001-12-05 22:04:18 (UTC)

just

spent a long time responging to jonas. him and i have been
having this interesting discussion, well, about kennett in
general. pros cons, ect. ive had a headache all day and,
honestly, feel a little down. like ready to cry. silly.
im frustrated with almost everything. i guess not my
friends though, im secure with that. i guess im just
confused about boys, and how i feel lonely sometimes.
however fucked up my realationship was with jim, i
definately felt loved, wanted and touched. it wasnt him,
it was just someone. i guess it hurts even more not that
hes gone and slandered my name from here to forever. im
worried about saturday of course, but am trying to stay
positive. zac is making me sad, so are all my guy
friends. ever feel like you are giving a handful and
getting back a teaspoon? i like suprises and spontanaity.
i think its weird that zac clint and rich, jb, prolly jeff
kiel and tons more, think me a friend but dont care to ask
my last name, or birthday or anything. i guess im getting
emotionalyl attached to matt because hes one of the few who
reciprocates my frienship. i dont think its a bad thing,
matts a good person.

i got a zine in the mail today, i ordered it 6 months ago,
what a pleasant suprise.

i was trying out this whole new "penting the sexual energy"
thing, i dont think its working, its making me irratble and
depressed, time to release, i fear this is how its like for
people like marcus all the time. (times 100)

maybe ill go now. *deep exhale*