Sarahbellum

losing

I put a lot of myself into my writing. I entered several
poems into the literary magazine of my college. None of
them made the first cut. Am I not allowed to be depressed?
Am I not allowed to feel? Is a poem less of a poem because
it rhymes? I'm sorry I don't think that the students are
the highest authority on poetry. This is a college literary
magazine not the greatest collection of poems in the world.
Why aren't mine good enough to be published. I guess this
was the final sign I needed to see that my dreams won't come
true and I should stop hoping for a future and sink into a
world of drugs. That sounds nice. My former best friend
who had reverted into a mere friend just reverted to a name
I used to say. I was having a bad day and she didn't seem
to care that I didn't want to talk. I'm allowed to have an
attitude. I am sorry she believes me when I say I'm on
drugs. She is slow. So she got pissed and walked away from
me, I'm tired of playing second string. I did manage to get
an A on my PLS paper. That was a big shock. I don't feel
like crying so much anymore. Especially since I painted my
nails. I think there are feel good things that seep through
your nails, or perhaps the fumes go to my head. Either
way. It's easy mmmkay