All on the table
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2001-04-02 00:28:21 (UTC)

A very dear friend, Suzie, gave..

A very dear friend, Suzie, gave me an important insight
into my life last night, and it turned me around... just
when I needed it!

She jokes with me about the different voices in my
head. One in particular we've named "Mars", for the
God of War, because this is the voice that always wants
to level everything around when things are going wrong.
I'm rather frightened of Mars, because he's inpulsive,
doesn't think, and has no fear of destruction.

Now, if this were a real person, my reaction would be a
very practical one - but it isn't, of course. Mars is a
legitimate part of my personality, and the more I avoid
Mars in how I live, the less strength and wholeness I
have in my personality. So, I gotta let Mars back out of
the "time out" chair, so long as he promises to play
well with the other voices in my head. That way, I have
the strength to fight off the depression, to confront my
wife with the need for her to seek counseling (even if
she doesn't with me), and to go on with my life.

The second wonderful insight has to do with letting
depression get a foothold. It's the old "glass" metaphor
- depression wants to focus on the part of the glass
that's empty, and despair over how dry it is. Real life
has both the wet spots and the dry spots, and we must
accept both to be healthy!

I had a great prayer time today, thanking God for that
insight, and for Suzie to lead me to that insight. I
couldn't tell why, but I felt led to drive and park in a
specific parking lot by a hotel when I went to pray.
When I finished praying, God pointed me over at a
beautiful oak tree, with sunlight streaming through the
leaves, and asked me if I wanted to take a few

I can't wait to get them back!

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