i_bleed_life

The mediocrity that is me
2001-12-05 05:58:55 (UTC)

Missing my smile...and me

Hmm...
No medicine today. And honestly, I think I'm feeling it. Do
I say that because subconsciously that's what I want? Or is
it really a chemical imbalance. Am I crazy?
Does it really matter anyway?
I guess not.
I feel strange about writing (or typing, whatever) in this
thing for the second day in a row. But!!!! (and here comes
the happy part) I came to the page and someone left me a
message! I'm sure all the rest of you diary-writers out
there in cyberspace have all gotten messages before....but
I havent....and I just wanted to say that it totally made
my day. So, whoever you are, thanks. I feel less alone. :O)
I didn't think anyone actually read my writing....much less
understood me.

So, right now, I'm sitting here, blanking, listening to
Everclear. I really like Everclear....especially their
lyrics. So I'm listening to "Summerland" and I am totally
lost in the music and I'm thinking of my life. Their music
makes me feel so...something, I can't come up with the
word. Kind of nostalgic, but not really, if you know what I
mean. So I'm lost in the sparkle and fade...depressing, but
not really. I feel like I've lost something that I want to
get back....
and I want to be held.
But I'm wasting my time.

Into the depths of darkness, I retreat.




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