Forgotten Misery
2001-12-04 23:01:57 (UTC)

Somethings are better kept a secret

Ok I called Murphy today cause I was bored and we got
talking about relationships and how our signifigant others
always confuse us or more like we confuse ourselves more
him than me but anyways we got talking about how we never
lasted very long at all and how maggie at one time told me
that we should have never broken up because we were meant
to be together but anyways he told me sometimes he still
likes me and I was like um thanx and he told me about how
it always felt different with me than it does with his
girlfriend brittney. Even though I moving he
said someday I just know someday we will be together for
ever and get married and grow old together and all that
stuff he thinks I am meant to be with him thats so sweet I
think its nice to have someone say all that to u at the
same time it is very overwhelming u know we always said one
day we would get married yet Im not sure what to think of
that right now cause im in love with geoff and I think
things feel right with us we just kinda click u know and he
puts up with the way i act which would be my random mood
swings all the time which was one of the reasons I am on
paxil which I refuse to take anymore cause it is a mind
altering drug and i have beat my depression and i can beat
anything else on my own without some stupid doctor
perscribed drug. Yet cause im not taking it im having all
the drug withdrawls cause i have been on it for a very long
time since april when i had all these test run on me and
they took a bunch of my blood and it was kinda scary then
but im ok now yet i hate drug withdrawls plus i refuse to
ever touch a cigarrette ever again unless im yanking it out
of someones mouth and putting it out on the ground I have
to much to live for and I dont want another secound taken
off my life. Plus I have quit due to some of my friends
who love me and dont want me messing my life up more which
would be i say more cause i have done so many bad things in
my life and had to much happen to me considering im only
16 yeah im only 16 and that doesnt bother me anymore. I
like who i am and i like how my life is even though it
doesnt always go my way but hey lifes not fair now is it so
quit whinning cause it wont do u any damn good!!! So get
over it and not always focus on what is wrong in your life
focus on the good things u have which i have done i focus
on my health and the love of my family and friends who I
wouldnt be the same without. Ok this is getting deep again
im in the state of deep thought after taking my nice candle
light bubble bath im out to study now if i can get my head
to stop hurting.