Unholy and Dirty and Beautiful Me
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2001-12-04 07:02:21 (UTC)

Let me off right here...

Dear J,
Here's your stuff. See how nicely I wrapped it up for you?
Like a birthday present, isn't it? Birthday presents are
good J, but you don't seem to think that I deserved one.
Not even a didn't even get me a freaking card!
When you told me that you'd treat me like gold, I believed
you. Silly me, let down again. See, a birthday present
isn't all that important, but you embarassed me. It really
is the thought that counts, and it's pretty clear that you
weren't thinking much of me.
I'd like to keep this "breakup" as amiable as possible,
we've got mutual friends so we'll probably run into one
another again. I don't think you're a bad guy. In fact,
this is probably going to hurt me a lot more than it will
hurt you. I really like you J, but I can't settle for less
than I deserve, and I deserve a lot more than this. I had
higher expectations for us, and this is a really big
dissapointment to me.
I hope you don't think I'm silly for going about this in
the way that I am. I imagine you're probably relieved to
not have to say anything, I guess I'm making this easy on
you. I tried talking to you before, when I felt like
something was wrong before. You told me you wanted it to
work, but we'd have to work a lot harder than this for
anything to improve. I meant it before when I said I didn't
want to break up with you, and I believed you when you told
me you wanted to be with me too. I don't think we've gone
anywhere but down, and I guess I'm just going to get off of
the rollercoaster right here.


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