Adoption IS A Nightmare
I am going to bed early, just wanted to share this little
chuckle with you. I will write a long entry tomorrow nite.
New Barbie Dolls for 2001:
At long last, here are some NEW Barbie dolls to coincide
with her and aging
gracefully. These are a bit more realistic...
1. - Bifocals Barbie - Comes with her own set of
frames in six wild colors (half-frames too!), neck chain and
editions of Vogue and Martha Stewart Living.
2. - Hot Flash Barbie - Press Barbie's bellybutton and
watch her face turn
beet red while tiny drops of perspiration appear on her
with hand-held fan and tiny tissues.
3. - Facial Hair Barbie - As Barbie's hormone levels shift,
whiskers grow. Available with teensy tweezers and
4. - Flabby Arms Barbie - Hide Barbie's droopy triceps with
roomier-sleeved gowns. Good news on the tummy front, two
tummy-support panels are included.
5. - Bunion Barbie - Years of disco dancing in stiletto
definitely taken their toll on Barbie's dainty arched feet.
sores with the pumice stone and plasters, then slip on soft
6. - No-More-Wrinkles Barbie - Erase those pesky crow's-feet
and lip lines
with a tube of Skin Sparkle-Spackle, from Barbie's own line
7. - Soccer Mom Barbie - All that experience as a
cheer-leader is really
paying off as Barbie dusts off her old high school megaphone
to root for
Babs and Ken, Jr. Comes with minivan in robin-egg blue or
cooler filled with doughnut holes and fruit punch.
8. - Mid-life Crisis Barbie - It's time to ditch Ken.
Barbie needs a
change, and Alonzo (her personal trainer) is just what the
along with Prozac. They're hopping in her new red Miata and
heading for the
Napa Valley to open a B&B. Includes a real tape of
"Breaking Up Is Hard to
9. - Divorced Barbie - Sells for $199.99. Comes with Ken's
car, and Ken's boat.
10. - Recovery Barbie - Too many parties have finally caught
up with the
ultimate party girl. Now she does Twelve Steps instead of
Clean and sober, she's going to meetings religiously.
Comes with a little
copy of The Big Book and a six-pack of Diet Coke.
11. - Post-Menopausal Barbie - This Barbie wets her pants
when she sneezes,
forgets where she puts things, and cries a lot. She is sick
and tired of
Ken sitting on the couch watching the tube, clicking through
Comes with Depends and Kleenex. As a bonus this year, the
book "Getting In
Touch with Your Inner Self" is included.