Unholy and Dirty and Beautiful Me
2001-12-03 04:48:03 (UTC)

"I love myself today....

.....not like yesterday. I'm cool, I'm calm. I'm gonna be
okay.........." *Bif Naked

I like that song, it totally describes the way I feel when
I finally decide I'm better than the loser I've been dating
& I just wanna tell him to fuck off.

Tell him he's got no class. No grace. Tell him I can do SO
MUCH better than this and I KNOW I deserve so much more and
he's the one at a loss because he'll never have another
chance with a girl like me. Tell him he embarassed me. Tell
him how shocked I was that I had to ask him to walk me to
my car in the middle of the night on a scary street. Tell
him he's cute, he's fun but there's no way that he's the

I know I'm not the first girl to give up on a guy who
doesn't bother. I feel like he doesn't care, and I know
well that men are highly capable of acting uncaring. They
have a tendancy to chase you down then brush you off once
they've conquered you.

I will not settle for less than I deserve. I will aim
higher and search for The One. It may take me years, and
I'm sure I'm bound to have my heart trampled on again....I
hope not, but no one said life would be fair. In the
meantime, I'm going to look out for #1 and chalk all of the
bullshit up to experience.