Mykel

o.o
2001-12-03 03:47:15 (UTC)

putting off doing my homework

I'm supposed to be typing up my lab for my research course
but of course i'm not. why would i do something like that?
it would be responsible of me. I'm not responsible.
Grrr.. been grumpy all day. I don't like guys. They're
jerks. All jerks!!
Wierd contradicting stuff happening with the guy I sorta
thought was cute before... still no clue about what's going
on there. But all guys are jerks, so whatever is going on,
it can't be good.
This guy my friend knows was at the bar the other night
when we were there (i had seen him before and he was really
cute) but over the course of the night we saw him making
out with two different chicks. one was really really really
slutty. REALLY slutty.
So that was kind of depressing. Cuz really, once a guy does
that I have no respect for them anymore. And yah I know
they say people change or whatever but I don't really buy
that. The best indicator of future behavior is past
behavior. Once a manwhore, always a manwhore. I don't think
I could go out with someone if I knew they were like that.
Problem now is that I sorta feel that like 85-90% of the
guys out there are like that at some point in their lives.
So what's left? Not much. I don't understand why guys have
to be such losers. It's not like it's asking a whole hell
of a lot to expect guys to go through live being decent
people, not using girls, making a manwhore out of
themselves to get whatever action they can and hurting
people's feelings cuz they're too fucking self-involved to
either realize what they're doing or sometimes CARE what
they're doing.
I thought I had found a guy that was *different*... that
was over a year ago back when I had never had a boyfriend
before and was stilly very very naive. BOY was I ever
wrong. He was as much an asshole as any of them out there,
he just hid it better for a while. At least he's better
than my friend's ex boyfriend who is actually mentally
insane and stalking her over the internet. That's
absolutely freaky; I never want to have to deal with
something like that. But the thing is, guys know that they
have to hide the undesireable parts of themselves from
girls they want action from so they make themselves look
all cool and charming, and THEN once they've lost interest
in you for whatever reason, then they unleash all the
horrible things they can on you. You're just a girl after
all, once they've had you and determined you aren't good
enough for them or they're just tired of you then you don't
deserve to be treated with respect anymore. Only the girls
you're interested in get treated nice.
Fuck. This is the second day in a row I've been miserable
like this. I think it's cuz it's getting cold, close to
Christmas and I sorta want a boyfriend but not any of the
guys that I've ever encountered in my life.
winter is going to be very very long this year.


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